


Ten Years

by Kristenaaaa



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: #ProtectMariaReynolds, Alexander is a Man-Whore, Alternate Timeline, And some TheoBurr, Cheating, F/M, Hamilkids, Honestly I Messed Up the Ages of the Hamilkids, Illegitmate Child, John and Peggy end up being BFF4L, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Modern AU, Poor John and Eliza, Slight Hamliza, Unrequited Crush, also Phildosia, and slight unrequited love, idk what to rate this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-01-22 05:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12474268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristenaaaa/pseuds/Kristenaaaa
Summary: “Dad, are you still in love with him?” “Hm? Who are you talking about Frankie?” "Mr. Hamilton?” “No, I’m not.” I don’t know who I was trying to convince Frances or me. The only thing I do know is that Alexander and I would never be together.





	1. Ten Years

Ten years, it’s been ten years to the date since I let the love of my life slip away. As I sit in the same coffee shop I regret not running away with him. I knew I loved him but, the love for my wife and daughter was greater. Once I realized he was the love of my life, it was too late.

“Dad are you listening to me?”

“What? Oh yes Frankie, sorry sweetie.”

“If you were listening to me what did I say?”

“You were going on and on about Georges this and Georges that.” Frances started to blush furiously.

“I think he’s the one Dad. I don’t know I can just feel it. What was it like when you fell in love with Mom?”

“Frankie when I—” I looked up and couldn’t believe my eyes.”

“Dad? Dad are you alright?”

“Laurens, is it really you?”

“Alexander, it’s been too long.”

“Ten years to be exact Laurens.”

“What are you doing here Alexander?”

“I was picking up some cupcakes next door and decided to get some coffee. I thought you were still in London.”

“I moved back about five years ago. Why are in New York? I thought you were living in DC?” 

“I have a townhouse in DC but the family’s in New York.”

As we gazed into each other’s eyes it was almost like we were the only ones in to room. That is until, my daughter pulled us out of our trance when she cleared her throat.

“Oh sorry, Alexander, this is my oldest Frances. Frances, this is an old friend of mine, Alexander Hamilton. We grew up together.”

“I know who is he Dad. I know I live in England but I don’t live under a rock. It’s a pleasure to meet you Secretary Hamilton.” 

“Hello Frances, nice to meet you. Oh, and please, call me Alex.” Alex flashed his smile and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

“Laurens, Frances looks just like you, all the way down to the freckles.”

“Thanks Alex.” I blushed

“How’s your wife? I haven’t seen Martha since high school.” My daughter and I shared the same solemn look on our face

“She left. It’s been the two of us for about ten years.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok, how would you?” 

“So, what are you up to now Laurens?”

“I have a non-profit up in Bushwick.” 

“Really?” I almost blushed when I saw the way Alexander lit up but regained my composure

“Yeah, it’s a tutoring center and there’s also a mentoring portion. We’re doing pretty good, we’re in our fifth year now. I’m in the works of planning a benefit gala to raise more funds.”

“That’s truly amazing Laurens.”

“Thank you Alexander. How’s Phillip?”

“He’s great he’s in Columbia finishing up his sophomore year.”

“Time flies.”

“It does, Frances you said you’re in England. Are you doing study abroad over there?”

“I actually went to Cambridge, I graduated early last year and decided to stay there.”

“Wow that’s amazing!” Alexander glanced at the time on his iPhone and cursed under his breath.

“Damnit, I gotta get back home to the wife.” My heart broke in two when I heard that fateful word.

“Oh, I’ve seen pictures of her at events with you. She’s gorgeous.” Frances said

“That’s my Betsey, it’s all thanks to your dad that I met her in the first place.”

“Were you guys all friends Dad?”

“Yeah, we, uh, I convinced him to come to a party with me and she was there.” John said. Frances noticed my lack of interest but Alexander just kept talking…as always.

“You outta collab with Eliza, Laurens. She works at Head Start down in the Bronx. Maybe she can pull some strings and help out with your gala.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

“Well I should be on my way. Phillip won’t believe me when I tell him I ran into to you. Hopefully we can get together sometime Laurens.” Alexander was about to turn around when my daughter grabbed his attention. 

“Do you have any other kids?”

“We have seven.”

“Seven?”

“Yeah, lucky number seven. It’s actually about to be eight in June.”

“Congratulations!” Frances beamed I smiled softly and was starting to wish Alexander didn’t see us in the first place.

“What are their names?” Frances asked

“Well of course there’s Phillip, and then there’s Angelica, AJ, James, John, William, and Eliza.” Alex proudly showed Frances and I a hoard of photos on his phone.

“Phillip’s probably around your age Frances. Your Dad and I should introduce you two.”

“I would like that. That would be nice. You have a lovely family.” Frances gushed she handed the phone to me. The picture was a family picture at Disney Land. All the members of the Hamilton family where wearing Mickey Mouse ear hats and of course Mickey Mouse himself was in the picture. As soon as I saw the picture it was almost as if all the air in my lungs had been sucked out. I forced a smile and handed Alexander back his phone.

“Thank you Frances.” 

“Eliza is still just as beautiful as ever.” I said half-heartedly

“Thanks man, look I really gotta jet. Today’s AJ’s birthday party and Angie’ll kill me if I’m late for, as she would say it, her favorite nephew’s birthday. Hey, if you guys have time you should swing by. We’ve moved from our little brownstone in Harlem a few years back. You know what I’ll write down the address.”

“You don’t have to—” 

“Nonsense.” Alexander pulled out a pen and used a napkin to write down his address and phone number. “There, now you have it.” Alexander slid the napkin to me, I smiled weakly and picked up the napkin. When I saw the address, I raised my eyebrow.

“Albany? What happened to staying humble.”

“Children, we needed more space and we had the funds. So, why not.” Alexander shrugged “Anyways, the whole gang will be there, Herc, Laf, the Washington the Schulyer Sisters will be present even Ms. Peggy. I could introduce the two of you Laurens.” I smiled weakly and shook my head

“We’ll try, but, I’m having lunch with my daughter’s boyfriend today, and you’ll never guess who his father is.”

“Please don’t tell me Burr had a son. Phillip is already dating his daughter.” I laughed softly

“No, he’s Laf’s son.”

“No shit!”

“Yeah but really? Little Theodosia and Phillip?”

“She’s grown into a nice young lady, Burr did at least one thing right. Well, I better get going, you should call me sometime Laurens.”

“I will.”

“It was nice meeting you Frances.”

“You too Alex.”

“Bye now.” Alex was out the door once again. I contemplated if I should run after him or just let him be.

“Dad, are you still in love with him?”

“Hm? Who are you talking about Frankie?”

“Mr. Hamilton?”

“No, I’m not.” I don’t know who I was trying to convince Frances or me. The only thing I do know is that Alexander and I would never be together.


	2. Rewind Part One

Chapter 2: Rewind, Part One

 

_“Yo! Yo! Alex, you gotta come to this party tonight.” I said as Hercules, Lafayette and I burst through Alex’s door, who was busying typing on his laptop._

_“I can’t guys, I have to edit this Law & Ethics paper.”_

_“What Law & Ethics paper? Washington didn’t assign a paper.” Lafayette frowned_

_“I know Laf, it’s extra credit.”_

_“Alex, you already have a 200% in the class.” Hercules teased_

_“He doesn’t even need the class! We graduate in a few weeks.” Laf leaned over Alex’s shoulder. “Holy shit, this is almost twenty pages!”_

_“Come on Alex, let loose.”_

_“I can’t Herc.”_

_“Alexander Hamilton, I, John Laurens, your best friend, is asking you to come with us to the LAST party of our undergrad—”_

_“Laurens—”_

_“The only party that, I, your best friend, has ever asked you to attend, which happens to be the last party before we graduate.” Alex sighed heavily_

_“Fine.” Herc, Laf, and I cheered loudly_

_“Okay, okay, can you guys get the fuck out so I can get changed first.”_

_“Oh please, it’s nothing John hasn’t seen.” Laf and Herc laughed as they left the room leaving Alex and I a blushing mess._

_“I-I-I can leave if you want.”_

_“No, it’s fine I need some help picking an outfit.”_

* * *

 

_“You guys made it!” Aaron stumbled over to the four friends_

_“Burr, are you drunk?” Alex asked_

_“WINNER!”_

_“Aaron!” We all looked up and saw Theodosia pushing her way through the crowd._

_“Theodosia, I love you so much. When we get married, I want to name our daughter after you.” Aaron leaned on Theodosia._

_“Let’s graduate first hmm? See you guys later, I’m taking him to the car.”_

_“Do you need help?” Her offered_

_“Please.” Laf, Alex, and I ventured our way into the kitchen where the drinks were. We heard a bunch of people cheering and there was a beer pong game going on in the dining room._

_“Yo is that Peggy Schuyler?” I asked in amazement_

_“Oui, oui, and it seems like she’s alone. Excusez-moi mes amis.”_

_“Can you believe we graduate this month?”_

_“Yeah…Alex?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“There’s been something I’ve been wanting to tell you. For a while now, well, actually since high school.” I sighed heavily, “Alexander—”_

_“Who is that? With the long hair talking to Angie?” I shrugged my shoulders._

_“Eliza. Look, Alex—”_

_“Alexander!” I rolled my eyes as Angelica Schuyler sauntered over to us._

_“Hey Laurens, I just need to borrow him for one minute. Come on Alex.” Alex started to walk away with Angelica but he turned to look back at me._

_“Go, we’ll talk later.” I watched as he was led over to Eliza._

_“Yo Laurens, you gotta check out the keg out front.” Herc stumbled over his steps._

_“Yeah I’m coming.” I said looking at Alex lead Eliza to the dancefloor._

_“You didn’t tell him, did you?” I shook my head_

_“Hey it’s a party man, let’s have some fun.” Herc gave me a sad smile and we went out back._

* * *

I don’t know how I ended up here, the last thing I remember is watching my daughter and her boyfriend get in his car and now I’m standing outside Alex’s home. I want to move but my feet are stuck to the ground.

 “Yo! Yo! I know that ain’t who I think it is! Is that John Laurens in the place to be?!” I smirked as I turned around I saw Hercules walking up to me.

 “Hercules Mulligan! It’s been too long man.” We both shared a long hug

 “Hercules?” I looked behind him and saw what I assumed to be his very pregnant wife and two sons.

 “Oh, John this is my wife, Elizabeth, my sons, Richard and Henry.”

 “Nice to meet you, Hercules always talks about you.”

 “Likewise, and congratulations.”

 “Thank you, hopefully it’s our last. I’m gonna go inside.”

 “Okay, I’ll be in soon. So, I’m surprised you here man. I didn’t even know you were back in New York until a few months ago.”

 “Yeah, I’ve been keeping to myself. As soon as I came back I got to work.”

 “Yeah, I saw your non-profit in the paper. So, how’s Frances? Last time I saw her was a picture you sent.” Hercules playfully punched my shoulder.

 “She stayed in London, she comes to visit a couple times a year.”

 “That’s amazing, well let’s go inside.”

 “Laurens! You made it!” Alex engulfed me in a hug and froze before returning it. As quickly as it came it left.

 “Hey Herc.”

 “‘Sup Alex, is Laf here yet?”

 “Yeah, all the guys are downstairs.”

“I um, brought a card.” I mumbled

“Thanks man, there’s a card box in the dining room. We’ll meet you in the basement.”

As I walked through the Hamilton house I noticed the personal touches that made it their home. A pile of children’s shoes on the shoe rack, a small swigly line drawn on the wall, it looks like permanent marker. I placed the card in the box and was about to go to the basement.

“John? Alex said you might be coming but he wasn’t sure.”  Eliza waddled over to me and hugged me

“Yeah, I had time, so I figured why not.”

“Well I’m so happy you came. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. How’s Frances? I can’t remember the last time I saw her, actually, I can’t remember much things these days. Having seven kids will do that to you.”

“Frances is fine she’s still in London.”

“That’s great, oh you have to see Angie and Peggy.”

“Oh, I was actually—”

“Angie! Peggy! Come see who’s here.”

“If it isn’t John Laurens.”

“Hey Angelica, Peggy.”

“So what brings you to New York?”

“You know, work, I missed the city life. I moved back almost five years ago.”

“It took you this long to come see us?” Eliza teased

“Yeah, I’ve been pretty busy since I came back.”

“What line of work are you in?” Angelica asked

 "I run a non-profit in Bushwick, ‘Dream Big Foundation’. We’re actually holding a gala in a few months to raise funds.”

“Wait, you guys were on the radio one day right?”

“Uh, yeah we were.”

“John, you should’ve told me. You know I run a Head Start in Brooklyn.”

“Well maybe we can get together and draft up some ideas. After you have the baby.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I can work now.”

“Eliza, you know that Alex would kill all of us he knew that you were working.” Peggy reasoned

“As much as that man works, he’s such a hypocrite. Well, go havesomefood, everything’s in the kitchen.”

“Thanks Eliza.” Once the sisters were pulled somewhere else I let out a breath I never knew I was holding. As much as I wanted to hate Eliza, I couldn’t she has such a sweet spirit about her. When she enters the room she just lights it up with her smile. As soon as I walked down the basement steps I heard laughter and smelled cigar smoke.

“Laurens! Did you see Peggy?” Alex wiggled his eyebrows I chuckled weakly

“Yeah I saw her and Angie and Eliza too.” I grabbed a beer our of the cooler

“Man, I miss this. It reminds me of college.” Hercules said

“The good old days.” Lafayette added

“You guys remember when we first met?”

“How can we forget Alex, you started a bar fight our first night in undergrad.”

“I didn’t start it Laurens.”      

“Man, whatever you threw the first punch you started it.”

“Alexander!” Eliza called from upstairs

“Yes Betsey!”

“It’s time to cut the cake.”

* * *

 “Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear AJ! Happy Birthday toy you!!” AJ made his wish and blew out the candles. Eliza took the cake back into the kitchen to cut it and Alex followed. I stood by the kitchen doorway watching all the kids gush about eating the delicious cake. I looked up and saw Alex standing behind Eliza, his hand soothing rubbing her bump. He whispered something in her ear which made her blush and giggle furiously. I exhaled deeply and briskly made my way outside.

 I sat on the front porch and jumped when I heard the door open.

 “Relax, it’s just me.”

 “Damn Laf, you sacred the shit out of me.” Lafayette took a seat next to me.

 “How are you feeling John?”

 “I’m good—”

 “No, I mean how are _you_ feeling?”

“I’m okay. I just needed some air, that’s all.”

“Are you sure mon ami?”

“Yeah.”

“You know, we don’t blame you for leaving. Herc and I, we understood.”

“Thanks.”

“Alex probably took it the hardest?”

“Really?”

“Yeah—”

“There you guys are, come on AJ’s about to open his gifts.”

* * *

_Alex and I were sitting in one of the study rooms in the library. It was time for Fall Semester finals and we were both stressing over our Russian Literature final tomorrow._

_“Alex, I think I’m gonna call it a night.”_

_“What? It’s barely 10, we have to study at least until midnight.”_

_“But I’m tired.”_

_“That’s why we sent Aaron and Theo to get coffee.” I sighed dramatically_

_“I feel like all of this information is oozing out of my ear as I read it.”_

_“Laurens I swear you should’ve majored in Theater.” Alex smirked_

_“Fuck off.”_

_“No, but in all seriousness. I’ve heard you sing. You have a nice voice John.”_

_“Thanks.” I breathed_

_“You’re welcome”_

_“So, what do you have planned for the Holidays?”_

_“I was gonna stay here, I guess.”_

_“You know, you can always come home with me.”_

_“I don’t want to be a burden.” I don’t know what came over me but before I could stop myself, I reached over and grabbed Alex’s hand._

_“Alex, you’ll never be a burden to me.” We slowly leaned our faces closer to each other. Our lips were ghosting over one another’s. We were just about to kiss when the door slammed opened and we jumped away from each other._

_“Hey! Sorry it took us so long It started to snow while we were waiting.” Aaron and Theo seemed to notice the tensions in the room and looked at us with suspicious eyes._

_“Is everything okay?”_

_“Yeah, um Theo can you help me find this book on the study guide?”_

_“Sure Alex.” Aaron sat next to me and I could feel him smirking._

_“Shut the hell up Burr.”_

_“I didn’t say anything.”_

_“Actions speak louder than words.”_

_“You should know Laurens.”_

* * *

 

I watched from afar as AJ opened his presents. I kept looking at a young girl with the light brown curls. There was something about her that reminded me of Phillip when he was younger.

“Enjoying yourself?” Peggy asked

“Yeah.”

“Really? You seem kind of down.”

“Just tired, had a long day today.”

“Oh…so, this might seem kind of random but I was wondering if you would like to grab some coffee or something.”

“I don’t know I’m so busy Peggy.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like it’s a date. I’m just asking you out for coffee. How does Friday sound?”

“Friday’s perfect.”

“Is this a love connection I see?”

“Oh shut the fuck up Alex.”

“Such language Aunt Peggy, there’s children around.”

“Daddy!” My eyes went wide when I saw the same girl with the curls hug Alex.

“Hey sweet pea.” Alex picked up the young girl and showered her with kisses. I looked at Peggy and she leaned over 

“That’s not my business.” She whispered before walking away

“Daddy who’s that man?”

“This is your Uncle John, Laila.”

“He has the same name as my brother.” Alex chuckled

“That’s who your brother is named after, Uncle John and I were best friends growing up.”

“Oh, like how me and Sarah are best friends?”

 “Yep,” Alex kissed Laila’s forehead “now go on and play it’s almost time to clean up.”

 “OK Daddy, bye Uncle John.”

 “Alex?”

 “I’ll tell you later, after the party.”

 About half an hour later most of guest were gone. The only people left were Angelica and Peggy. I don’t know what compelled me to stay as long as I did, my plan was to drop the gift off, grab a bite to eat and head back home; but here I am washing dishes…with Eliza.

 “Did you enjoy yourself John?”

 “Yeah, I’m glad I came.”

 “Me too, you know, Alexander was so upset when you left for London.”

 “He was?”

 “Yeah, we all were. Especially Phillip, he missed his godfather.”

 “Well then, it’s good to be back.”

 “Good to have you back John.”   Eliza and I continued to wash the dishes and we engaged in small talked as we cleaned.

"John, can you put the cake in the fridge?"

"Sure." I grabbed the cake and went to put it in the fridge and I smiled weakly at the all of the drawings and report cards on the fridge. I wonder what our fridge would look like if Alex were together. I shook the thouhgt out my head and put the cake in the fridge.

"I see your admiring our Fridge art."

"Hm? Oh yeah, the drawings are cute."

"I had to convice Alexander from posting everything on there."

"Oh I can belive it."

"He claims he wanted to document are children's lives. I swear, when Phillip and Angie were young I could barely even see the fridge." We both laughed. Angelica entered the room when I looked at her face I could tell something was wrong.

"Oh Angie, can you and Pegs take down the streamers and the banners? Alexander won't let me get on the stool anymore." Eliza glaned up from what she was doing and frowned at the look on her face.

"Angie is everything okay?" 

“She’s here.”

“Where’s Alex?”

“Giving Lizzie a bath.” For the first time ever, I saw Eliza frown.

“Thanks, um, excuse me for a minute.” Eliza walked out of kitchen.

I peeped out the kitchen window and I saw Eliza with the same girl that called Alex ‘Daddy’. The girl ran up to another woman, who didn’t look over thirty, once she had the girl settled in the car Eliza handed the young woman an envelope. I went back to washing the dishes before Eliza could see me eavesdropping.

“Thanks John for helping out, I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime Eliza, you should rest, I’m just about done with the dishes.”

 “Thanks so much John, I think I’m going to go lay down.” We shared a quick hug “Again, thanks for coming. It was so nice to see you. You’re welcome here anytime you just say the word.”

“Thanks for having me Eliza.”

By the time I was finished the dishes Angie and Peggy had left and I was the last one at the Hamilton house.

“You’re still here Laurens?”

“Yeah, I was just about to head out Alex.”

“Let me walk you.”

“Oh no it’s fine.”

“I insist.”

“So, did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yes, I’m glad I came.”

There was a brief silence between the two of us and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I need to ask him about that little girl. Just when I turned to Alex I felt his lips on mine. My brain was telling me to push him off but I found myself pulling him closer. Then it was like I woke up and I found the strength to push him off.

“John, I’m so sorry—”

“I gotta go Alex.”

“John wait, I didn’t—”

“I’ll see you around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is liking the story so far!! I'm going to update one more chapter and then take a break *no pun intended* my baby is due in a few weeks so I'm relaxing until that time comes.


	3. Rewind Part Two

" _Alexander, can we talk?"_

"' _Alexander'?" Alex laughed "You never call me that, what's wrong?"_

" _I'm moving to London." My heart grew heavy when I saw the look on Alex's face._

" _What?"_

" _Martha's job is relocating there."_

" _John, don't this, you're the closest friend I've got."_

" _Alex, I have to, it's for the best. You're married, Eliza's pregnant with William. It's for the best for you and me. Goodbye Alex." I stood up and started to leave the table but Alex grabbed my arm._

" _John…please." My heart shattered at the desperation in his voice._

" _Goodbye, I have a flight in the morning." I pulled my arm out of his grasp and walked out on Alexander forever._

* * *

It's been almost week since AJ's party and I haven't spoken to Alex. He's tried calling me and texting me but I've ignored him. I don't know what to think of that kiss, I loved having his lips on mine but he has seven kids and a pregnant wife. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my secretary entered the room.

"Mr. Laurens?"

"Yes, Stella?"

"Um, Secretary Hamilton is on line one."

"Thank you, Stella." I waited until Stella was gone before answering the phone

"Alex, can you please not call my office phone."

"I knew you would answer. John can we please talk, can we meet up for lunch please."

"Fine, meet me at the coffee shop."

* * *

_Alright, everyone, it's time for our newlyweds first dance." John watched with sad eyes as Alex and Eliza together. He wished that Alexander looked at Eliza with so much love and affection. It's almost as if Eliza could burp in his face and he'd still be smitten with her._

_"Can I have a two vodka tonics, please. Make it a double."_

" _You know you have a speech to give, you gonna drink both of them?"_

" _Nope, you're gonna drink it with me. You look like you need it."_

_"I'm fine-"_

_"I know that look, you aren't the only person who has feelings for Alexander." I looked at Angelica with wide eyes_

_"I've had a crush on him since our freshman seminar class when he embarrassed Samuel Seabury. That night at the party, I was going to finally tell him how I felt but Eliza saw and the rest was history."_

_"I grew up with him, we went through everything together. He's been there for me and I've been there for him."_

_"Here are your drinks ma'am."_

_"Thanks." Angelica and I took our drinks_

_"To their union." I smiled weakly_

_"To their union."_

* * *

As soon as I entered the coffee shop, I saw Alex sitting our usual table anxiously tapping his foot. When he saw me he smiled and I swear my heart skipped a beat. I regained my composure and sat down across from him.

"John, thanks for coming. I already ordered for us."

"Thanks."

"John, I want to apologize about that you know kiss. It was completely uncalled for—"

"Who was that little girl?"

"and I shouldn't compromise our—wait, what?"

"Who was that girl that called you 'Daddy'? I saw her leave with some woman. Who is she, Alex?"

"She's my daughter, she has an older brother that Eliza doesn't know about." I balled up my fist

"Who's their mother?"

"Maria Lewis, she was an intern for the summer about ten years ago. Right around the time, you left. One day after work I saw her boyfriend hit her in the parking lot. I called the police and he was arrested. I took her back to the house and that was the day the affair started."

"How old was she?"

"19."

"Goddamnit Alex!"

"We started an affair and she got pregnant with Laila's brother, but her ex-boyfriend thinks it's his son to this day. Then about five years later, she gets pregnant again with Laila. When that happened I ended things with her. I guess she was mad at me because three months later she released a picture of her sonogram to every news and gossip outlet in the damn world. I co-parent with Maria and I see Laila ever Thursday, Friday, and Saturday."

I couldn't speak, I was too shocked to say anything. One part of me felt horrible for Eliza, having to see a child that was a product of your husband's betrayal, having to see the woman he slept with for almost a decade all the time. Then again, another part of me couldn't help but feel guilty. I too had the same feelings Maria has for Alex, and I've thought and yearned for the same things. Does that make me an awful person? Does that make Maria and me one and the same?

"Laurens say something."

"I don't have any words, but you need to tell Eliza about your other son."

"I know, but, not right now. I'll wait until after the baby is born."

"Has that always been your excuse?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I mean Eliza is pregnant for the eighth time. Are you gonna wait for another two years and then knock her up again?"

"What the fuck man? I can't believe you would even accuse me of that! You've known me since middle school."

"You need to tell her now."

"I'll tell her after the baby is born." Our argument was interrupted by Alex's phone ringing.

"Hello?" I left to go order some coffee. I can't believe Alex would hurt Eliza but at the same time, it was my own selfish desires that would blatantly ignore how Eliza and the kids would be affected by it. When I returned to the table Alex was just staring off into space.

"Alex? Alex!" I became worried when he didn't answer me.

"Alex? What's wrong?"

"The hospital just called, Phillip and Eliza were in a car accident."

"What are you waiting for let's go."

* * *

Silence, all you could hear in the hospital waiting room was the clock ticking and Alexander pacing back and forth. I've always hated hospitals, the white walls, the white floors, that hospital smell all just made me sick to my stomach.

"Alex please sit down."

"You know I hate hospitals."

"I know Alex." I remember all too well the last time Alex and I were in the waiting room of the hospital.

* * *

" _Ha! I win!" twelve-year-old Alexander cheered Alex, his older brother, James, a nurse, and I was playing cards in the waiting room of a hospital._

" _Man Alex, you're good at Speed." The Nurse exclaimed_

" _I practice a lot with James."_

" _So, Nurse Julie, what happens if our mom dies?" James asked, Alex and I looked at Julie with hopeful eyes._

" _Well, we'll discuss that when that time comes." The door opened and we all turned to see the doctor enter the room._

" _Alex? James?" The doctor pulled up a chair and sat in front of the brothers._

" _So, the tests from the burn on your Mom's skin came back. It's infected." Alex didn't quite understand what that meant but James and I both shared a solemn look._

" _Well can you fix her?" Alex asked_

" _Alex we're gonna take good care of her. We're gonna give her some antibiotics and hope that her fever goes down."_

" _Can we see her?"_

" _Of course."_

" _Mom!" Alex ran into the room and was quick by her side. James and I slowly walked into the room._

" _Hey, bud."_

" _How are you feeling Mom?"_

" _I'm tired Alex. Come closer James and John I won't bite." James walked over but I was more hesitant._

" _John?"_

" _I'm okay, I just don't like seeing you sick. Ever since my mom died, you've been like a second Mom to me."_

" _Come here," I slowly made my way to the bed "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Okay?"_

" _Okay." The three of us all ended up in the hospital bed with her for a few hours until the doctor came in._

" _Mrs. Hamilton."_

" _Dr. Bent, is the medicine working?" The doctor looked at her and she sighed heavily._

" _The fever isn't going down?"_

" _No, it's not and the infection is spreading."_

" _How long?"_

" _A couple hours, we'll give you some medicine so you won't be in any pain."_

" _Thank you." We all started to cry and Mrs. Hamilton pulled us all in for a hug._

" _Don't cry, I'm gonna be ok and so will the three of you. It's like going to sleep." I nodded my head_

" _Are you tired?" James asked_

" _Yes, come on let's all get some sleep." One by one we all fell asleep and Mrs. Hamilton didn't wake up the next day._

* * *

"Mr. Hamilton?" Alex perked up and approached the doctor and I was quick to follow.

"I'm Dr. Morris I operated on your son—"

"Yes, yes, how is he?"

"Well, he suffered from a bruised kidney and a liver laceration."

"Is he ok?!" Alex yelled

"He has a long road ahead of him but he's stable. My doctors are transporting him to ICU—" The doctor was cut off by Alex hugging him

"Thank you, thank you so much." Alex pulled away from the hug

"Now how about my wife?"

"I believe she's still in surgery."

"Okay, can I go see my son?"

"Of course."

"He's just waking up from anesthesia so he'll be a little groggy."

"Thank you, John?"

"You should see him first." Alex nodded and entered the room

* * *

"Pip?" Phillip groaned and slowly woke up

"Dad?"

"Hey, Pip."

"Dad, I was trying—"

"Shush, drink some water." Alex poured Phillip a cup and handed it to him.

"How's mom?"

"They're still operating, what happened out there?"

"Some jackass cut in front of us."

"The good thing is that you're okay now Phillip. Don't you ever scare me like that again."

"I promise I won't."

"Alex." I entered the room

"Uncle Jack."

"Hey Phillip, um Alex Eliza's surgeons want to talk to you outside."

"I'll be back son."

"So, Uncle Jack, you here to stay this time?"

"Yeah, I am I don't plan on leaving and that goes the same for you."

"I promise."

* * *

Hi Secretary Hamilton, I'm Dr. Haines, this is Dr. Warren, the neurologist, Dr. Ibe, the OB, and Dr. Cho, the attending cardiologist we operated on your wife."

"I know Dr. Ibe, she delivered the last three of my children. How is Eliza?"

"When she came in she complained of abdominal pain, there's was also some internal bleeding. We found that she had a delayed abruption so Dr. Ibe needed to do a crash-C as I operated on her internal bleeding. I fixed the bleed and she's in recovery right now."

"Hi, I'm Dr. Warren, your wife also had a subdural hematoma, I operated to relieve some pressure off of her brain."

"Thank you and the baby? If you can don't tell me the gender, Eliza and I wanted to be surprised."

"I delivered the baby, as you already knew, the baby was diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, meaning the baby would need to have surgery shortly after birth. That's were Dr. Cho comes in."

"I began reconstruction on the left side of the baby's heart with a catheter but the baby's aorta was narrower than expected."

"What does that mean? Do you operate again tomorrow?" The doctors all exchanged a look and Dr. Ibe stepped forward.

"Mr. Hamilton, I would like to discuss this with you and Eliza at the same time."

"Okay, where is she?"

"They've just her placed in the room two down from Phillip's room."

* * *

Eliza? Eliza, wake up Betsey." Eliza stirred and slowly began to wake up

"Alex? What happened?"

"You were in a car accident remember?" Eliza slightly nodded her head and then gasped

"The baby! Alex where's the baby?!"

"Shhhhh, that's why Dr. Ibe is here."

"Hey Eliza, as I told you two before the baby suffered from hypoplastic left heart syndrome. When Dr. Cho, the heart surgeon opened up the baby, the aorta was narrower than expected."

"Do we operate again, what's the plan?"

"Eliza, Alex, there's nothing we can do for the baby." Eliza let out a sob and Alex pulled her into his chest.

"I am so sorry."

"Can we see the baby?"

"Yes of course."

* * *

Alex wheeled Eliza to the PICU and she gasped when they saw the sign on their baby's incubator read 'I'm a Girl!'

"A baby girl," Eliza said through a sob a nurse carefully placed the baby in Eliza's arms and she immediately started to cry.

"You're so, so, precious. She has your nose, Alexander." Alex leaned over Eliza's shoulder

"She does, but she has your chin and cheeks."

"What do you want to name her?"

"How about Rachel Catherine Hamilton."

"It's perfect."

Alex and Eliza held Rachel until she breathed her last breath. Alex informed the children and Eliza's sisters what happened with the baby. I decided to drive Alex home so he can get some rest. I helped him inside and led him to his bedroom. The kids were staying with Angelica or Peggy so, I came to the conclusion to spend the night so he wouldn't be alone.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." I was about to leave but Alex grabbed his arm.

"Stay."

"Alex, I can't."

"Please, stay with me. I need someone right now."

"No Alex."

"John...please."


	4. One Sided or Sleeping with the Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey guys I’m back! I had my baby on Friday, November 3, 2017, at 3:27 AM. I am blessed with a beautiful baby girl named Shaun, we came home that following Tuesday and the baby and I are doing great! THIS IS AN EDIT! I posted the wrong chapter, this is the real one!! I wrote most of this chapter while I was in the hospital (oops!) I couldn’t help myself and I made my boyfriend bring my laptop to the hospital. What can I say, I love to write! Here’s chapter 4!! Also, I may have also messed up the ages of the Hamilkids, I blame it on writing on a pregnancy brain, but whatever I’m going to roll with it and make this fic a Modern and Alternate Timeline AU lol. I have some elements of “Archer”, the real fans will see it, and, “She’s Gotta Have It” in here. I definitely binged and I LOVED IT! Anthony was amazing as Mars. Another thing, this chapter gets a little M-Rated. *Wink Wink* Okay, now on to the chapter.

“That’s it for our weather, and now here’s Lana Harris reporting live from Living Waters Memorial Hospital where the victims of the six cars pile up are being treated. Lana?”

 “Hi Dan, I am outside the hospital where the 20 victims of the pileup are being treated. Among those victims are Secretary Hamilton’s son and seven-month pregnant wife Phillip and Eliza Hamilton. There’s still no word on how they are doing, however, the chief of surgery will be conducting a press conference later on this evening—”

I turned the TV off, I didn’t want to listen to another news report. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the anchors repeat the same update all day long. I can only imagine what Alex is going through. I was about to finish my breakfast when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and smiled when I saw it was Frances FaceTiming me.

“Hey, Frankie.”

“Hey Dad—holy shit, you look terrible."

“I had a rough night, didn’t get much sleep.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to call and check up on you”

“I’m okay.”

“How are Phillip and Mrs. Hamilton? I saw a report about the accident on Facebook.”

“They’re both recovering well, had successful surgeries.”

“That’s good, how’s Mr. Hamilton?”

“He’s okay, I stayed over Alex’s last night so he wouldn’t be alone.” I saw my daughter’s face fall.

“Oh.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Frances…” I warned, I knew when my daughter was keeping a something to herself.

“Nothing.” I nodded my head deciding to drop it. I was going to ask her later.

“Oh, how’s Mrs. Hamilton’s baby? The article I read didn’t say anything about the baby.”

“She didn’t make it Frankie, Alex didn’t tell me much, but he said it was a pre-existing condition.”

“Oh, my goodness, when you see Mrs. Hamilton please give her my condolences.” I simply nodded. My phone started to vibrate and it was Peggy calling me, I frowned because I don’t remember giving her my number.

“What’s wrong Dad?”

“Peggy’s calling me.”

“Oh really?” Frances teased

“Relax, she’s a friend.”

“I didn’t say anything. I’ll talk to you later Dad.”

“Bye Frankie.” I ended Frances’ FaceTime and switched over to Peggy’s

“Hey, John!”

“Hey Peggy, how you holding up?”

“Fine, so I know you’re wondering how I got your number. Long story, actually, I lied, it’s a short story, I got it from Alex’s phone. I stopped by there to drop the kids off. Anyway, I really need a distraction today I was wondering if I can come over.” I blinked a few times to try and process what she said before answering.

“Sure, I can text you my address.”

“Don’t need to, I got that from Alex’s phone too. I’m walking up the steps now.”

“Wait, what?”

“I said I’m walking up the steps to your apartment. The elevator isn’t working. You guys need a new front desk attendant. He has such a nasty attitude.”

“Peggy.” I groaned

“Why did you have to pick an apartment on the seventh floor?”

“Because I didn’t want people like you coming over?”

“Very funny. Open the door I’m finally on your floor.” Peggy ended the call and I exhaled through my nose. Then there was a series of loud knocks at my door.  I walked over to the door and as soon as I opened it, a bag of groceries was shoved in my face.

“I picked up some ingredients for a brunch. I’m assuming you have a stove in this man cave.”

“Hey, Peggy.” I put the bag down on my counter and watched as Peggy examined my studio apartment.

“Very nice Laurens, I love the open concept, I do think you need some decorations.” I frowned as I examined my own apartment, I thought I did a fairly good job. My place has a modern, simplicity theme going on, it was Frances’ idea.

“Um, thanks.” Peggy finally got a good look at me and frowned

“Damn Laurens you look like shit.”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Same, Lizzie had a bad dream and she slept in my room last night.”

I started to unpack her bags of food as we stood in a content silence.

“So, what made you stay up late?”

“Alex didn’t want to be alone.” My eyes went wide when I immediately knew how that sounded “Peggy, that’s not what I meant. I left as soon as he fell asleep.”

“John, I know what you meant. It’s okay.” Peggy laughed and I relaxed my shoulders. I examined the food that Peggy bought and I don’t know if it was because I can’t cook to save my life, but I had no idea what was in front of me. Peggy must’ve noticed and smirked at me. I started to blush and look away.

“I’m not that much of a chef. I can make some good grilled cheese.”

“I’m sure, move out of my way Laurens. I’ve become quite the chef if I do say so myself.”

“Really now?”

“I’m an executive chef at BarTwo.”

“No kidding?”

“Yes, where the hell have you been Laurens? Are you sure you’ve been living in the city for five years?”

“I stayed to myself, didn’t really go out much.”

“I see, but I really want to have my own restaurant someday.”

“That’s amazing Peggy, really.” I could’ve sworn I saw Peggy blush but I brushed it off.

I sat on my couch stuffed from the brunch Peggy made. I’ve never tasted anything that good before in my life. Maybe that’s because I raised Frances on half-cooked pasta and store-bought pizza.

“That was delicious Peggy.”

“Thanks, Laurens, I figured we both needed some time to not think about what happened.”

“Peggy?”

“Yeah?”

“I really do appreciate you coming by. It means a lot to me, to have someone I can be around. I know, it was messed up of me to not talk to anyone when I moved back, but maybe it’s not so bad to be around old friends again.” Peggy smiled genuinely 

“John, we’ve always been friends no matter what.”  Peggy reached over and grabbed my hand. I cleared my throat and looked away. Peggy snickered and pulled her hand away.

“So, what’s next on our agenda?”

“Well, I’m going to head over to Angie’s. I have to pick up something and after we’re shopping for you. You literally have no food here.”

“You wound me, Peggy Schuyler. Let me change and I’ll be ready.”

* * *

 

  Angelica sat in the living room of her brownstone in Fort Green looking over her case file wearing an oversized bathrobe. After she graduated from NYU she went to Law School and that’s where she met her current boyfriend. At first, the two didn’t get off on the right foot, it was like water and vinegar. It was back in 2012 when the two were introduced at George and Marth Washington’s Annual Christmas Party. Immediately, the duo was engaged in a heated debate about women’s rights. The debate ended with Angelica slapping her opponent in the face. You would think that make any man avoid such a feisty woman, but he kept pursuing. Angelica tried her hardest to not fall for his wit and charms, but eventually, she agreed to go out on a date with after three years of turning him down.

  The main reason why she agreed to go out with him was because she admired his perseverance. Surprisingly, he was the perfect gentleman on their date and they have been a couple ever since. Most people would think they would constantly butt heads, but they were the perfect pair. Angelica kept her beau on his toes and focused; he helped her to let her hair done and go with the flow.

“Angie?”

“I’m in the living room.” Angelica replied without looking up, she continued to look over her notes. She felt arms wrap around her waist and leaned into the embrace.

“Whatcha doin’?” Angelica felt a tender kiss on her bare shoulder.

“Looking over my case. We have a hearing in a few days.”

“Mhm, you should come back to bed.”

“I can’t, I have work.”

“Take a break, amour.”

“I just need five minutes. Then I’ll come back.” He pouted his lip like a baby. Angelica snickered at him and kiss his pouty lips. “There, that should keep you satisfied until I’m done.”

Angelica went back to her work, she felt him unhook his arms from around her and just assumed that he went back to the bedroom.

“Angie.” Angelica looked up and went wide-eyed when she saw her boyfriend standing in front of her with no clothes on. Angelica started to bite her lip

“And what do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to seduce my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? Is that what we're calling it now?"

"Okay, person I'm fucking, or whatever. Is my seduction working?” He arched an eyebrow. Angelica took off her glasses and walked up to him. She undid her robe, letting it fall to the floor. He grinned widely, he tapped her thigh. Angelica took the cue and wrapped her arms around his neck, jumped up and wrapped her legs around him.

“What do you think?” Angelica started to suck and bite his neck which caused him to moan. Angelica smirked and continued her attack on his neck and then moved up to his ear.

“Let’s move this to the bedroom. Now.”

* * *

 

“Oh, shit.” Angelica whined, she dragged her nails along his back as he thrust into her at a painfully slow pace.

“What do you want Darlin’?” He asked slowing down even more, which Angelica didn’t think was possible. Angelica moaned loudly and tried to meet his thrusts but he held her hips in place.

“Please.” Angelica sobbed

“What do you want?”

“I—” Angelica was interrupted by her doorbell ringing.

_“Angie! It’s Pegs and John.”_

“Damnit.”

“Ignore it, baby.” He started to slowly regain speed

“I can’t.”

Peggy and I stood outside in the heat for a few more minutes.  Peggy pressed the call button again.

“Angie! Come on it’s really hot out here.” Peggy groaned, she bent down and picked up what I thought was a rock, but was a secret key holder.

“I made a copy of her key and the key to Alex and Eliza’s place here and in DC. Never know when I’m going to need it.”

Peggy leads the way to Angie’s unit and knocked on the door.

“Angie! Ms. Ella let me in, now answer this door so I can go.” Peggy leaned into me

“She doesn’t know I have a key.” The door opened and we were met with Angelica Schuyler in an oversized plum robe.

“Ms. Ella did not let you in because she’s out of the country and I know you have a spare key.” The two sisters shared a hug.

“Nice robe.” Peggy raised an eyebrow teasingly

“Come in you two. Can I get you guys some water?”

“I want something stronger than water. I can help myself, sis.”

“John?”

“I’m fine, this is a lovely place, Angie.” I said taking a seat on the couch. As I looked around the beautifully decorated living room. I noticed a few touches that made this place scream “Angelica Schuyler”, a worn copy of “Common Sense” sat on the coffee table with a pair of glasses sitting on top of it, an open laptop was left on the desk on the other side of the room, case files littering the same desk, and of course an extensive art collection graced the walls of the living room.

“Thanks, John. I moved in about a three years ago, it’s closer to my job. This rent is no joke, ain’t gentrification a bitch?”

“I know, when I moved back I wanted to live in Fort Green, can you believe that rent for one of those homes was almost ten grand.”

“I can believe it. These realtors are still down our parent's throat for their house.”

“Are you serious?” Peggy asked surprised as she sat beside me

“Yeah, but you know Mom and Dad aren’t budging—”

“Darlin’ we’re all out of coconut shampoo.” I looked up and frowned when I saw who the voice belonged to, no other than Thomas Jefferson, standing in the living room with nothing on but a bath towel. I don’t know the man personally but I’ve seen enough interviews of him to know that I strongly disagree with his views.

“Oh, I was supposed to stay in the bathroom wasn’t I Darlin’?” Thomas smirked

“Thomas, there’s shampoo under the sink.”

“No, it’s only the huge bottle of lube under there.” Angelica was quick to Thomas’ side.

“Ohhhkay! Thomas, I just bought your shampoo yesterday. Now go back to the bathroom and look this time.” Angelica said as pushed Thomas out of the living room.

“You know I like it when you take charge suga. I might pin you against that shower wall again.”

“Thomas get out of here.” Angelica shook her head and turned back to Peggy and me.

“Why is Thomas Jefferson here my dear older sister?”

“I can have my fun just like you, little sister of mine.” Peggy and Angelica shared a knowing look.

“Okay, can you give me my fondue set back, please. I have things to do today.”

“You know where it is.” Peggy left once again to retrieve the set and then Angelica looked over at me.

“Um, can you not tell Alex what that you saw Thomas here. I mean, I can tell by the look on your face you’re not a huge fan of his. So, you can only imagine how Alex feels about him.”

“Your secret is safe with me. But, you know you’re going to have to tell him sooner.”

“I know, I’m waiting for the right time.”

“Next time you borrow my fondue set make sure you have all of my forks, _Angelica._ ” Peggy huffed as she walked back into the living room.

“Oh yeah, Thomas and I used the set one night and I haven’t seen the blue fork since.”

“Did he stick it up your ass?”

“Do you want to get it for me, _Margarita_?”

“Shut up, how do you lose a fork?”

“For your information, I used it for an office party someone must've thrown it away.” 

“Well however you lost it, either find it or pay me 80 bucks to buy a new one.”

“$80? For a damn fork?”

“No, 80 bucks for a new set. You can’t buy one fork.”

“That doesn’t make any sense to me, but whatever. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“It was nice seeing you, Angie.”

“You too John.”

“John, can you take this to my car?”

“Sure.” I took the set and walked out to the car.

“Are you happy Angelica?”

“I am, he makes me happy Peggy. He really does.”

“Then I’m happy for you, that you finally found your happiness. It’s about time.” The two sisters shared a hug and Peggy turned to leave and Angelica grabbed her shoulder.

“Peggy.”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful with your feelings for John.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just be careful.”

“See you around.”

I was leaning against the car when I saw Peggy briskly walk out the building and over to me.

“Sorry, I forgot I didn’t give you the keys.” Peggy unlocked the trunk

“It’s okay, everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I put the set in the trunk and the two of us got in the car.

* * *

 

The rest of the evening Peggy dragged me around Brooklyn helping me shop for groceries, so I can have actual food in my place.

“Peggy, you really shouldn’t have done this.” I said as Peggy and I approached my doorway.  “I mean I don’t even know how to cook any of this stuff.”

“Well, lucky for you, you have New York’s best chef as your friend.” Peggy smiled

“Well, I’ll see you later Peggy.” I turned to open my door.

“John, I have a question.”

“Yeah what’s up?”

“So, I was wondering, if you wanted to go out sometime. Like on a date?”

“A date?”

“Yeah,ImeanI’vealwayshadthisschoolgirlcrushonyousinceI’vemetyouandIwastooshytoaskyouout.ThenyouupandmovedtoLondonwithoutatrace—”

“Peggy, breathe.”

“Sorry,IjustgetsonervousthatIstarttorambleonandonandon.NoonecanunderstandawordI’msayingbecauseI’mtalkingtoofast—”

“How does Saturday sound?”

“8:00.”

“Perfect, I’ll pick you up.”

“That requires you having my address Mr. Laurens.”

“Text it to me.”

“I won’t forget. See you later.” Peggy beamed as she walked off. I entered my loft and ran my hands through my hair.

“Damn it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I honestly don’t like the way this ended and I’m not particularly proud of this chapter but I promise that this story has more juicy twists and turns. I had to stop writing or this would’ve been almost 13 pages. I didn’t get a chance to edit because my precious baby girl decided to poop through her onesie during her nap, the joys of motherhood, so I’ll edit this later on this week. I’ll probably update in a couple weeks or so and then it will be my last update until the new year. Peace and Love!


	5. Oh S@%t

It had been almost a week since the accident and I have yet to hear from Alexander. I've tried calling him and texting him but he doesn’t return my call. I should be this bothered by it but I am. I just want to make sure that he’s alright. Before I developed feelings for him, I was his best friend.

“Laurens!”

 “Huh, what?!”

 “You okay man? I called your name like five times.”

 “Yeah Herc, I’m fine.” I decided to hit up Hercules and have lunch together. Since his fashion house isn’t too far from my house, I figured why not.

 “You’ve been glancing at your phone every five minutes man. You got somewhere to be?”

 “Uh, no. I was just checking my messages.”

 “Why? Is a certain Schulyer sister blowing up your DM’s?”

 “Shut up, and no. I was checking on Alex.”

 “Oh,” Hercules cleared his throat before continuing, “I talked to him the other day.”

 “Really?”

"Yeah, he said Phillip was recovering nicely and that he’ll be released soon.”

“What about Eliza?”

“He didn’t say much but Eliza’s having a tough time.”

“Hmm.”

“Look, man, I don’t know why he didn’t tell you. Maybe he didn’t want to bother you.”

“Yeah, maybe so.”  My phone then started to vibrate and I saw that it was Peggy calling me.

“Why is Miss. Schuyler calling you?”

“Don’t worry about it.” I stepped away from the table to answer the call.

“What’s up Peggy?”

“So I have no idea how to dress for tonight?” I let out a breath, part of me was hoping that she would cancel.

“Just be casual Peggy, I’m sure you’ll look amazing.”

“Okay, see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.” I walked back to my seat, not before checking my phone once again, for a text or missed call from Alexander.

“So, what was the phone call about? Did you two need a quickie phone sex session?” I rolled my eyes at my old friend

“For your information, we’re going on a date tonight.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“Yeah.”

“John, are you sure about this?”

“Yes, we’re going out as friends.”

“I mean, I know you’re not over Alex—”

“Whoa, this is not that. I’m not using Peggy to get over Alex. I just couldn’t say no to her.”

“Does she know your gay?” I shook my head no

“John, you need to tell her on your date.”

“I know, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“John, I’m telling you this as a friend. Tell her tonight, before you send her the wrong message. Which you already did.”

“How?”

“You agreed to go on a date.”

“As friends!”

“Yeah, but does she know that?”

“I’m just telling you, Laurens, if you don’t tell her tonight. Shit’s gonna hit the fan.”

“I promise I’ll tell her tonight.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“You sure?”

“Herc, I promise.”

* * *

Alex quietly entered Eliza’s hospital room. She was lying on her side with her back facing him.

“Hey Betsey, I brought you some soup from that place you like. Well, I didn’t bring it, Angie did. She knows you don’t want to see anyone so she gave it to me.” Alex pulled a chair over to the hospital bed “I saw Phillip today, he’s doing well in physical therapy. Angie, AJ, and James visited him today. I think it lifted his spirits, Theodosia came to see him as well. Matter fact, I believe she’s been sleeping in his room.” Alex was once again met with silence and sighed heavily

“Your nurse told me about a support group for parents that the hospital holds. If you want to go I’ll go with you, Betsey. You don’t have to go through this alone.” Alex started to rub Eliza’s back and that’s when his phone started to ring. He looked down and saw that it was John.

“I’ll be right outside Betsey I have to answer this phone call.” When Alex out of the room he answered the call.

“John.”

“Alex, I’ve been calling for like almost a week.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, it’s just Eliza’s been taking losing the baby pretty hard. I’m trying to be there for her.”

“Alex, I understand but it worried me when you didn’t even respond. Then I have to hear from Herc what’s been going on. I know we’re all friends but Alex, we’ve been friends since middle school. I would you have the decency to call me.”

“You’re right John. That’s my fault, and I’m sorry man.”

“It’s okay, I was just calling to check in.”

“Well, Eliza’s been pretty upset so I’m just trying to be there for her. Pip’s okay, he actually might be released soon. So that’s good news.”

“Yeah, that’s great. I’m sorry about Eliza though.”

“Thanks, John.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m dealing with it.”

“Alex, I know you. I—”

“I’m okay John. Promise.”

“Okay, well I have to go. Like I said, just calling to check in.”

“Thanks, John, I appreciate it.”

“No problem, bye.”

When I ended the phone call I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I knew Alex like the back of my hand, I know he’s not properly dealing with everything that’s been happening this past week; but that’s a different conversation we’ll have to have later. I looked at my watch and saw that I had a little bit more than an hour before my date with Peggy.

* * *

 

I knocked on the front door of Peggy’s apartment unit.

“Hold on!” I shuffled my weight between my feet before the door opened. Peggy was dressed but I could tell that she was still working on her hair.

“I’m so sorry, I got off of work late. It was a really busy and long lunch rush. So I had to take a shower and wash my hair to get the food smell off, but then that pushed my back because I had to—”

“Peggy, it’s fine honestly.” I laughed

“Are you sure? Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’m okay, I’ll wait.”

“Okay, I’ll just be ten more minutes.” I nodded and she went back to her room. I ran my hands through my hair, honestly, I felt like shit. I shouldn’t have agreed to take Peggy out on a date. She was wasting her time getting all dolled up for a date with a guy who is not only gay but is also in love with her brother-in-law.  As I sat there thinking of different ways to get out of going on a second date that’s when Peggy finale remerged.

“So? How do I look?”

“You look amazing Peggy.” I said genuinely, I caught the telltale signs of a blush on her face but she quickly pulled it back.

“You ready?”

Peggy and I sat across from each other in a small booth in the back of the restaurant. I picked a small quaint place where she wouldn’t be easily recognized. Let alone from being an up and coming chef in the city, the Schuyler Sisters were like Destiny’s Child in New York. I couldn’t help but feel out of place in the restaurant. There was classical music being played over the speakers. The waiters wheeled out desserts to patrons who desired a sweet treat before departing. There was even a bathroom attendant. As I looked over my menu in French I noticed Peggy was biting her lip, something she does when she nervous. We sat in a content silence until Peggy spoke up.

“I need to get something off my chest.”

“Okay.” I said cautiously

“This place is nice and all but, honestly, all I want right now are some chicken wings and a beer.” Peggy laughed nervously

“Ok good because I’m not in the mood for any of this food.”

“Well, I know a great dive bar, come on let’s go.” We discarded our menus and quickly left the restaurant.  

* * *

 

What supposed to be a one-stop date, this quickly turned into a bar crawl all over Brooklyn. We ended up in some bar in Fort Greene drunk, sweaty, and hungry. I watched with amused eyes as Peggy skillfully beat this frat guy in a game of beer pong. I applauded teasingly as she made her way, more like stumble, her way over to me.

“Very nice Margarita.”

“Why thank you, kind sir.” Peggy giggled and sat down beside me.  I could feel people’s eyes on us, we weren’t exactly dressed for the scene. I was wearing a white button-up with a black tie and a pair of slacks and Peggy was wearing a black velvet dress with black heels. Not the typical outfit for a hole in the wall bar, literally.

“Why did you late so long to come around us again.” I looked at her with confusion and she must’ve easily read my expression.

“I mean you said that you moved back five years ago. Why didn’t you reach out to anyone?” I exhaled heavily, I was never really asked this question and truthfully, I don’t have an answer for it.

“Peggy I’m way too drunk for serious questions.” Peggy sighed and pouted like a little girl. We sat there drinking our drinks when the DJ started to play Reggaetón. I saw the mischievous look in Peggy’s eyes and started to shake my head.

“No, no, no. I refuse Peggy.”

“Oh come on, you’re really going to decline a dance from a lady? Mr. Laurens, how very unkind.”

“I don’t dance.”

“Fine, I’ll dance by myself.” I watched Peggy saunter off to the dance floor. One guy came up behind her and started to dance with her. I kept my eye on them, I still consider Peggy as a friend, I hate myself if anything happened to her and honestly, I don’t want to face an angry Angelica Schuyler. I turned my back to ask the bartender for a check when I heard Peggy’s voice.

“Get the fuck off of me!” I marched my way over to the dance floor and pushed this douche bag off of Peggy.

“I believe she said to get the fuck off of her.”

“You got a problem bro?”

“Yeah, I do and I think I have the solution too. We can handle this outside if you want to.”

“John, let’s go. Come on it’s getting late.”

“You aint even worth it man.”

“You betta listen to yo bitch!” I turned around and before Peggy could stop me I punched the guy in the face. Peggy pulled on my arm

“John, let’s go. Come on.” We briskly walked out of the bar.

“What the fuck was that?”

“He called you a bitch.”

“You should’ve ignored him.”

“I’m sorry but, I’m not gonna let some fucking jerk call you out of your name.”

“I guess I never did thank you, so thanks.”

“No problem.” We got in my car and I drove Peggy back to her apartment, as we were walking to her unit I could feel my palms getting sweaty. I knew she would want a kiss and I really don’t want to lead her on any further than I already have.

“I had a great time tonight John. Thanks again.”

“No problem, I had fun too.” I saw Peggy start to lean in for a kiss and it was now or never,

“I’m gay.” Peggy stopped and backed up immediately.

“What?”

“I’m gay. I’m so sorry Peggy. I should’ve told you—”

“Goodnight John.” Peggy started to reach for her house keys.

“Peggy, can we talk about this?”

“Goodnight John.” Peggy opened her door and was about to close it in my face but I stopped her with my foot.

“Pegs—”

“Goodnight John, I’ll give you a call maybe.” I moved my foot and Peggy calmly shut the door in my face.


	6. Satisfied

"Mr. Laurens?"

I looked up from my work and saw Stella grinning wildly

"Yes, Stella?"

"Um, Secretary Hamilton is here to see you."

"Send him in."

"Of course, right this way Secretary Hamilton." Alex walked into my office we both stared at each other like we were studying each other's face. Never daring to forget a detail. I playfully rolled my eyes when he kissed Stella's hand.

"Thank for assisting me, mademoiselle." Stella blushed furiously

"The pleasure's all mine." Alex winked at her and squealed happily and briskly left my office, closing the door behind her.

"Can you not flirt with my secretary." Alex smirked as he took a seat in one of the chairs.

"I can't help it, Laurens, beautiful people are my weakness." I could've sworn I saw a smug smile but I brushed it off.

"So, why are you here Alex?"

"What do you mean? I just want to visit my friend."

"So now I'm your friend."

"Why are you acting like this John? I've never seen this side of you."

"Since the night you  _begged_ me to stay with you have not reached out to me. Not a phone call, text, nothing. Not to mention that you kissed me and then expect us to go back to normal after a half-ass apology.

"Oh—"

"You know what, I would like it if you didn't send me mixed signals Alexander."

"What are you talking about?" I scoffed at his ignorance, honestly, it was insulting.

"Alex, are you really that oblivious or just a jackass."

"What the fuck man?"

"Look, I don't want to discuss this here."

"No, you brought it up man. Let's finish it."

"I find it hard to believe that you never knew after all these years."

"Knew what?"

"That I'm in love with you!"

"What?"

"I've been in love with you since middle school."

"Laurens, why are you—"

"That's why I moved to London, that's why Martha left me, and that's why I didn't look for you when I came back." Alex stood up and silently walked over to the window. I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. The tension was so thick in the room you could cut it with a knife. I can't believe I just admitted that I was in love with my best friend. My married best friend, as I look at him I wonder what's running through his mind. I know there are probably so many things going on in his brain.

"Alex—" Before I could finish his lips were on mine. Even though I know this was bad, I kissed him back. His tongue danced on my lips asking for entrance, I opened my mouth and our tounges moved together. It felt like we were one, this kiss set my skin on fire, every sense of my body felt heightened. He bit my lip and I moaned obscurely.

* * *

Angelica Schuyler marched down the busy streets of Brooklyn, brushing past every person in her way, not caring if she bumped into someone or not. After her sister called in her tears last Saturday night, she was furious with John Laurens. She brushed past the glass doors and made her to the front desk attendant who was an older African American male with salt pepper hair.

"Hello ma'am, welcome to Bronner Business Building. How may I help you?"

"I'm here to see John Laurens, what floor is he on?"

"May I ask for your name?"

"Angelica Schuyler." She smirked, the attendant looked at her with wide eyes.

"Oh! Ms. Schuyler, it's truly an honor. My daughter wants to be a lawyer just like you when she goes to college."

"Hm, how old is your daughter?"

"She's 16." Angelica reached into her briefcase.

"What's her name?"

"Tonya, Tonya Lewis-Jenkins. My wife wanted to us hyphenate her name." Angelica pulled out her business card and slid it across the desk.

"When schools up tell her to give me call. I need a summer intern and when she's applying for college, I'll write her a recommendation letter."

"Thank you so much, Ms. Schuyler."

"Anytime, now, the floor please?"

"Oh yes, he's on the 10th floor. His secretary should lead you to his office."

"Thanks," Angelica scanned the attendant's shirt for a name tag. "Greg."

Angelica sauntered up to, who she assumed to be, John's secretary.

"Hi, welcome to Dream Big. I'm Stella, how may I help you?" Stella looked up from her computer and gasped

"You're Angelica Schuyler!"

"Yes, I know that honey. Is Mr. Laurens in? I'm a very old friend of his."

"Hold on, one minute." Stella stood and made her way to John's office. She cautiously walked over to the door and knocked gently.

"Mr. Laurens?"

" _Uh…yes?"_

"There's an Angelica Schuyler here for you. Is this a good time?"

" _Ummmmm…sure. Send her back."_ Stella started to walk away, but when she heard what sounded like a moan she turned back at the door. She waited a few more seconds to listen out for any other sounds. When she didn't hear any she walked back to the front desk.

"He'll see you now. His office is down that hall, the last door on the left." Angie didn't wait for her to finish before making her way.

I had just finished buttoning up my shirt when I heard a knock at my door.

"Just a minute." I sat back down at my desk and tried to regain my composure. I made sure anything didn't look out of the ordinary.

"Come in." I gulped when Angelica my office with a stern face. She gently closed the door behind her and stared me down.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit Ms. Schuyler?"

"I think you know good and well why I'm here."

"Angie, have a seat please."

"Hmm, I don't need one."

"Angie—"

"Shut up." I swear if looks could kill, Angelica would've chopped me up into a million pieces.

"I'm not going to stand here and tear your confidence into a million pieces because I genuinely think you're a good person. What I don't understand is, why would you agree to go out on a date with Peggy?"

"I don't know." Angelica sighed heavily

"Look, you know done fucked up right?"

"Yeah."

"As long as you know, you need to apologize to my sister. If I hear that you made her cry— I'm not even going to finish it, I'm going to let you imagine what I would I do to you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good—"

" _Achoo!"_  Angelica and I both froze as we started at each other. Neither one of daring to move, I, knew exactly where that sneeze came from. I'm hoping she thinks it came from outside of the room.

"Who sneezed?"

"It was probably Stella."

"No, the door's closed and it sounded like it came from inside the room."

"We're the only two in here Angie—"

"Don't call me that, I'm still mad at you and I guess you're right. I'll be on my way, I'm working on a case with Aaron Burr." Angelica groaned

"How's that turning out?"

"I swear, I don't know how Alexander worked with him for so long. That man is the most insufferable person I've ever met. Remember what I said John Laurens, I will come back here and it won't be a pleasant visit." I waited until Angelica left my office before walking over to my closet. I opened the door and Alexander walked out breathing heavily.

"You have a very small closet."

"What were you expecting?"

"Some air! Sorry about the sneeze."

"I guess it's okay. It's not your fault." Once again, we stood in an awkward silence, we seem to be doing that a lot these days.

"I want to see you later on."

"Alex, you're married, with kids. You don't need another scandal."

"Why does it have to be a scandal. You're my best friend, why would anyone think otherwise."

"I don't know Alex, I would hate to do that to Eliza." Alex grabbed my face and pulled me in for a sweet kiss. It wasn't as hurried and rough as the one we had earlier, it was sweet and slow. As if he was pouring all of his emotions into the kiss. When he pulled away I must've had a goofy look on my face because he chuckled.

"I'll pick you up at 6?"

"Yeah, see you at 6." We shared one more kiss before Alex was on his way out the door. I softly touched my lips, not believing the events that just happened. I kissed my best friend, the love of my life.


	7. Dinner Date

I nervously played with my fingers as I waited for Alex to come over. This was the first time he was coming to my place and this is the first time we’re having dinner just the two of us. Originally Alex wanted to go out but I suggested that we stay in, I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.

As I was trying cook some type of dinner, my phone rang. I didn’t bother to look at the caller ID and just answered.

“Hello.”

_“Hi, Mr. Laurens? This is Georges.”_ I looked at the phone with disbelief before putting the phone back to my ear.

“Hey, Georges.”

_“I’m sorry, I hope this is a good time.”_

“No, it’s fine. Is everything okay?” 

_“Yeah, um, I hate to do this over the phone but I really, really, love your daughter. I am so in love, and I was wondering if you could give me your blessing for her hand in marriage.”_  

“You guys have only been dating for 6 months, how do you know you’re ready for marriage?” 

_“I don’t want to sound cliché, but when you know, you know. I have a good job, Mr. Laurens, I have my own place, I can take of both us.”_

“You have my blessing, Georges. I hope that you take care of my daughter.” 

_“I promise I’ll make Frances the happiest woman on earth.”_

“Did you get the ring?” 

_“Yes sir, I picked it up today. I will send a picture to you.”_  

“Great, when are you going to propose?” 

_“Tomorrow night, we’re going to Royal Ballet and I’m proposing to her at dinner after.”_

“That’s amazing Georges, I'm sure she’ll say yes.” 

_“I know she will. Thank you so much.”_

“Like I said, just take care of her.” 

_“I promise, talk to you soon.”_

“Alright bye.” As soon as I ended the phone call there was a knock at my door. I inhaled and exhaled before making my way to the door. I opened the door and smiled widely 

“Hey, you made it.” 

“I made it, I bought some wine.” 

“That’s great.” We stood smiling each other like two awkward teenagers.

“Are you going to invite me in?” 

“Oh, yeah sorry.” I stepped out of the way and let Alex walk inside. 

“Wow, this is nice John.” 

"Thanks, Alex, you can put the wine on the counter.” Alex walked into the kitchen and laughed at what I attempted to make for dinner. 

“John, what is all this?” 

“I wanted to make something really nice for us.” 

“How do you mess up a Pinterest recipe?” 

“Look, I just want to give it a try.” I mumbled, Alex pulled me in for an embrace and kissed my forehead. 

“I’m sorry for laughing. How about we cook together?” 

“I like the sound of that.” 

“See, now we’re getting somewhere.” Alex searched my cabinets for something to make and we settled on spaghetti and meatballs. 

“Alright, so since the meat’s already thawed out you can start making them into balls and I’ll get started on the pasta.” 

“When did you learn how to cook Mr. Hamilton? As I recall, you were the one who lived off of ramen noodles and ketchup.” 

“Well, when I was working as a lawyer, Eliza worked evenings. At that time we only had Pip, Angie, AJ, and John. So I had to find recipes that were easy for big portions. Spaghetti, it was. I’m sure you had that one thing you made for dinner.” 

“Not really, the only thing I could really make was grilled cheese. Martha did a lot of the cooking when she left Francis kind of took on that role.” 

“Have you seen her since the divorce?” 

“Not really, she came to a few of Francis’ school events but, she got remarried and stopped showing up. She sent Francis’ birthday cards and stuff like that, but I knew it bothered her.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” 

“It’s alright, enough sad talk. Let’s make some dinner because I’m starving.” 

I proudly looked at my perfectly sculpted meatballs. I felt eyes on me and blushed when I caught Alex’s gaze. 

“Don’t stop on my account. Please, continue to admire your work of art.” Alex snickered and I playfully rolled my eyes. 

“Shut up.” Alex laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head in the crook of my neck.

 “I’m glad we’re doing this. It’s been so long, John.” 

“Alex.” 

“Hmm?” 

“I think you’re pasta’s about to overflow.” Alex jumped away from me and turned down the burner for the pasta. I laughed at how comical he looked and he playfully frowned at me. 

“This is funny?” 

“Yeah, you should’ve seen the look on your face.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Alex grabbed the spoon he used to mix the pasta and smeared it on my cheek. 

“Really?” I snickered, I reached for a towel but Alex grabbed my hand.

“Let me.” My breath hitched when he used his finger to wipe off the sauce and then he slowly sucked the sauce off his finger all the while staring into my eyes. 

“So, I’m going to go set the table.” I turn to walk away but Alex pulls me and places a hard kiss on my lips. Before I could respond to the kiss he pulls away. 

“Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that since I got here.” I blushed furiously and hurried off to set the table and I heard Alex laugh from behind me.

* * *

 

After Alex and I ate were cuddling on my sofa, full, and drunk after drinking both bottles of red wine Alex brought. I was laying on the chest, listening to his heartbeat while he was drawing shapes on my arm. We were sitting in silence, both enjoying each other’s company. Alex tried to get up but I wrapped my arms tighter around him.   

“I want some more wine.” 

“You’re warm.” I mumbled into his chest, I felt him chuckle and it was music to my ears. I looked up at Alex and when I saw that he was already watching me. We gazed into each other’s eyes and I felt so much love radiating between us. I reached up and we met each other in a sweet kiss. I felt the kiss expanded beyond our bodies, whirling us round, swirling us into the stars. He pulled me closer to his body, I wish we get closer than we already were. I reached my hands under his shirt and slowly dragged my fingertips over his skin, savoring the feel of it. Alex ran his hands through my hair tugging on it lightly, causing me to moan. Alex took this chance to lightly bite my lip. We pulled away from the kiss both breathing heavily, the only thing we could hear was our own heartbeats ringing in our ears. Neither one of us daring to say anything. 

“Um, can I say something?”

“You don’t want to do this anymore?” 

“No, no, no, no, I do, John. It’s just, my foot just fell asleep.” I snorted and let my head on his chest and I started to laugh uncontrollably. Alex sighed heavily 

“Great, now I ruined the moment.” I raised my head to kiss his nose. 

“You kinda did, dork.” I laid back down on his body, enjoying his warm embrace. 

“Can we stay like this? I don’t want to move.” 

“Sure, this is perfect.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, Alex.”


	8. Dedicated to my Loved Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the title of this chapter is for my loved ones who passed away. Over the past five years, I’ve lost an uncle, my grandmother, two little cousins, a childhood friend, and a longtime family friend. I recently lost my grandfather after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer’s and my great uncle on my father’s side, who was a third grandfather to me and the last surviving sibling of my paternal grandmother. His passing was the most sudden since he was supposed to be released from the hospital. So, this chapter is for my grandfather, Charles Reed Sr. and my great uncle, Mervin Randall. I love you both so very much.

Angie sat in her sister’s room just watching as Eliza as she stares out the window. It’s been almost a month since the accident since then Phillip has been released from the hospital and Eliza was still recovering from not only her surgery but from losing the baby. Angie has never felt so useless, being the oldest she felt she had a responsibility to take care of her sisters. Angelica heard the door open and smiled softly when she saw Peggy enter with some takeout bags.

 

“Hey, Pegs.”

 

“Hey, I got your usual.” Peg pulled up a chair beside Angie and gave her bag.

 

“Thanks, did you talk to the doctor?”

 

“Yeah,” Peggy sighed heavily

 

“What, what’s wrong?”

 

“They’re trying to move her to Psych.”

 

“What? They can’t do that!”

 

“They say there’s nothing wrong with her physically. She doesn’t talk, she’s not eating or anything.”

 

“I’m not letting them dope up my sister with a bunch of drugs.” Angie got out of her seat and walked over so she could face Eliza.

 

“Eliza, honey. They’re about to send you to Psych and when you come out of there, you won’t be you. Alex will lose a wife, the kids will lose their mother, and we’ll lose you. We need you, Eliza, I need you. I’m really struggling here Eliza, please if not for us, or Alex, do it for your kids. They need their mother.” Eliza stared blankly at her sister before turning over so her back can face her. Angie let a few stray tears fall before roughly wiping them away. 

 

“Angie.”

 

“I’m gonna go talk to the doctors.” Angie briskly left the room and approached Eliza’s doctor, Dr. Haines.

 

“Dr. Haines.”

 

“Yes, Ms. Schuyler?”

 

“You’re not moving my sister to Psych.”

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

“I’m not repeating myself because I know you heard me.”

 

“I’m afraid you don’t have a say, Ms. Schuyler, you’re not next of kin. Her husband makes her decisions.”

 

“I speak for her legally, and I say you’re not moving her.”

 

“I’m a doctor, Ms. Schuyler—”

 

“Obviously, look Dr. Haines, what you’re not going to do, is over explain something to me because you’re a man. That’s not happening.”

 

“Ms. Schuyler, you can stomp your foot and hold your breath. Unless her husband signs off on it, she’s moving to Psych. Now may you please, excuse me. I have patients to attend to.” Angie glared at the man as he walked away. She pulled out her cellphone and dialed Alex’s number.

 

“Where the hell are you Alex?”

* * *

 

I was taking a quick shower before Alex got a chance to wake up. I was surprised that I was up before he was, Alex was usually an early riser. He probably wasn’t getting much sleep since he was spending most of the nights in the hospital with Eliza.

 

I was about to rinse out my hair when suddenly something blocked the water coming down. I opened my eyes and blushed when I saw Alex standing in front of me.

 

“Mind if I join you?”

 

“You’re already in here aren’t you?” Alex rolled his eyes “Turn around,”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Just turn around.” I huffed before I turned around. I felt Alex run his hands through my curly locks, when he started to massage my scalp I leaned into his touch.

 

“I already washed my hair,” I said quietly

 

“I want to wash it again,” Alex whispered into my ear, I relaxed and I whined his fingers left my head. He turned me around and we stared deep into each other’s eyes. Alex’s hand slowly made his down my chest as he neared his destination I let my head fall back as I felt him wrap his hand around me. Alex started to kiss my neck as he stroked me. I let out a breathy moan and moved my head to give him more access to my neck.

 

Alex?” I breathed when he sped up his tempo.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I-I-” Alex started to go at an agonizingly slow pace

 

“What do you want.” I looked up at him and pleasure was written all over my face and leaned in close so I could whisper in his ear.

 

“You.”

* * *

_Your_ _call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system, Alexander Hamilton, is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you’ve finished recording you may hang up or press one for more options._

_BEEP_

“Alexander Hamilton, you better have a god damn excuse as to why you’re not at the hospital. Get your ass down here or I’ll put my foot so far up your ass it’ll come out that hole on your face.” Angie ended the phone call.

 

“Ew.” Angie glanced at Peggy who was reading a cooking magazine.

 

“Shut up, he needs to be here. They’re about to move his wife, _our_ sister to Psych, so excuse the hell out of me.”

 

“Have you told Angie and Phillip?”

 

“I told Phillip. He said he’ll tell Angie and AJ. Maybe John knows where Alex is, Pegs you call him?”

 

“Why do I have to do it?”

 

“I don’t have his number.” Peggy groaned loudly “Peggy, come on just call him. It’s been a month, I’m sure he’s sorry. Call him, he might know where Alex is.”

 

“Fine.” Peggy pulled out her phone and dialed John’s number. Peggy waited for him to pick up. She was sure he wasn’t going to answer.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

“Hey, John? It’s Peggy.”

 

_“Oh, um hey Peggy.”_ Peggy frowned

 

“You okay? You sound out of breath.”

 

_“Huh, oh um I just came in from a quick jog. What’s up?”_

“Oh okay, I was calling to see if you knew where Alex was?”

 

_“Ummmmmmm, no I don’t I haven’t heard from him today. Why, what’s going on?”_

 

“Eliza’s doctor wants to move her to Psych.” Peggy was met with silence and thought the call dropped.

 

“John? Are you still there?”

 

_“Yeah, I’m still here.”_

_“_ If you hear from Alex tell him to call me.”

_“Yeah sure, I’ll tell him to give you a call.”_

“Okay,”

 

_“Bye.”_

“Wait! John, I know this might not be the right time, but I want us to sit down and talk about, you know, what happened.”

 

_“Uhhh, yeah sure Peggy. I’ll text you okay?”_

 

“Okay, bye John.”

* * *

 

"Bye.” I ended the call and looked at Alex who was sitting on the edge of my bed.

 

“Alex?”

 

“I have to go.” He got up and started to quickly search for his clothes.

 

“Alex?”

 

“I’ll give you a call later John.” Alex picked up his phone and cursed under his breath.

 

“I have 20 missed calls from Ange. I have to call her back.” Alex called Angie back and placed the phone to his ear while he frantically got dressed.

 

“Angie, I’m so sorry.”

 

_“You better have a damn good excuse, Hamilton! Where the fuck were you last night?”_

“I spent the night at the office, I fell asleep doing some work and my phone died.”

 

_“I don’t believe you but get your ass down here!”_

“I’ll be there shortly.”

 

_“Not shortly, NOW!”_ Alex sighed heavily as he put his phone in his pocket.

 

“I’ll call you?” I simply nodded my head and Alex practically ran out of my apartment. 

* * *

 

Aaron Burr was a quiet man, he didn’t say much. He usually kept his views to himself. The only things that get him passionate are his wife and daughter and right now his daughter and her boyfriend were sitting across from him and they were about to make a big announcement.

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Burr—”

 

“Phillip, I’ve known since you were a little baby. You don’t have to call me Mrs. Burr. Call me Ms. Theo.”

 

“Okay, um Mr. Burr and Ms. Theo we have something to tell you.”

 

“Well, what is it? You’re not pregnant, are you Theo?” Theodosia laughed she noticed that her daughter and Phillip weren’t trying to dismiss her joke.

 

“Oh my God, Theodosia are you pregnant?”

 

“You got my daughter pregnant?!” Aaron stood up and Theodosia grabbed her husband’s arm.

 

“Aaron! Calm down, what are you going to do? Hit the boy? He just got out of the hospital for goodness sakes and Alex will literally kill you.” Aaron cleared his throat and looked at his daughter.

 

“Theo, are you pregnant?”

 

“We’re not sure."

 

"When did this happen? How, Phillip just got out the hospital a week ago."

"Well, Mom, I noticed that I missed a period last month. I didn’t think anything of it because that’s around the time Phillip and Mrs. Hamilton got in the accident, but I didn’t have one this month.”

 

“Did you take a test?” Theodosia asked

 

“We did but, two of them said yes and two of them said no.” Aaron sighed as he sat back down. Theodosia could sense her husband’s stress and decided to take over.

 

“Phillip? Have you talked to your Dad?”

 

“No Ms. Theo, with him being with my Mom in the hospital all day. I haven’t been able to tell him.”

 

“Alright, alright, you two need to go to the clinic and get a pregnancy test done. Then, we’ll take it from there.” Aaron stood up to walk away and Theo followed him.

 

“Daddy?” Aaron paused as he was about to go up the stairs.

 

“Daddy, can you say something?”

 

“What do you want me to say, Theo? That I’m happy for you two, that you aren’t going to ruin your life, or how about everything will be okay?”

 

“Daddy, I didn’t ask to be in this situation.”

 

“Well, you sure as hell didn’t try to prevent it!”

 

“Do you know how scared I am right now? I wasn’t exactly ecstatic when I found out I might be pregnant. But, I have Phillip with me.”

 

“You might as well be alone. What Hamilton did to his wife, Phillip will do to you. Like father, like son.” When Aaron saw the shattered look on his daughter’s face he knew that he crossed the line.

 

“Theo,” Aaron said quietly. Theo turned around and made her way back to the living room.

 

“If you need anything Phillip don’t hesitate to ask. And I'm keeping your mother in out prayers.”

  

“Thank—” Phillip was interrupted by Theo entering the living room.

 

“We’re leaving.”

 

“Right now? Why?”

 

“Phillip, don’t ask me questions right now. Give me your keys and let’s go.”

 

“Theo, what’s wrong honey?”

 

“Theodosia.” Theo looked up at her father, she could feel her tears threatening to fall but she didn’t want her father to see her cry.

 

“Theo, what’s the matter?”

 

“Ask your husband. Phillip, let’s go.” Phillip muttered a quick and walked out the front door. Theo gave one last look at her father before slamming the door shut.

 

“What on earth did you do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much going on! I want to get back on updating on Sundays, that’s the only day for sure I’ll be off work. So, I’m shooting for a March 25th update. But for now, see you guys later.


	9. Five Steps Part One

 

"Alex Hamilton, where the hell have you been?" Angie stormed up to Alex and he froze in his tracks.

"I was at the office, I fell asleep working on a case. I'm here now Angie, you don't have to jump down my throat. I heard all ten of your voicemails." Angie sighed heavily

"I'm sorry, not really. You need to get in there and stop them from moving her."

"Her doctor's in there now?"

"Yeah." Alex rushed past Angie and jogged into Eliza's room just as her doctor and a team of nurses was about to roll her bed out into the hallway.

"Woah, Woah, Woah, woah. You're not moving my wife." Dr. Haines groaned in annoyance

"Mr. Hamilton, with all due respect I'm her doctor and what I say goes."

"Dr. Haines, if you move her to Psych, she won't be the same."

"I'm not listening to this anymore. We're rolling." Dr. Haines and the nurses started to roll Eliza's bed out of the room. Angie and Peggy looked up and ran over to Alex.

"What the hell is going on?" Peggy asked

"They're moving."

"No, I'm her lawyer and you are not moving her to Psych."

"I don't care what you do, Ms. Schuyler, I'm in charge of her medically."

"Not anymore." They all turned around and saw Dr. Warren approaching the group. She glared at Dr. Haines as she snatched Eliza's chart from one of the nurses.

"Dr. Haines, Mrs. Hamilton is still recovering from brain surgery. Why would move her to Psych?"

"Dr. Warren, Mrs. Hamilton has not been communicating with anyone ever since her surgery, I believed she's depressed—"

"So, your first instinct is to move her to Psych? You're aware that Mrs. Hamilton was 8 months pregnant?"

"Yes—"

"And instead of being her doctor and providing her and her husband with support groups or grief counseling, you want to dump her off to Psych?"

"Dr. Warren, with all due respect—"

"Dr. Haines, you are officially off Mrs. Hamilton's case, I'm her doctor now. You are not to step anywhere near my patient." Dr. Warren faced the nurses, "Take her back to her room and bring up the therapist. Get her to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton."

"Jackie, I know you can get too emotionally involved—"

"I am Dr. Warren to you! I'm a doctor just like you, I am also your superior, you are only a fellow and I'm the Head of Neuro. Like I said you are not to be near my patient, so I'm going to ask you to leave now." Dr. Haines stormed off and Dr. Warren turned to Peggy, Alex, and Angie.

"Mr. Hamilton, I'm going to make sure your wife gets all the help that she needs. She's going to really need your support in coping with the loss of the baby. There's a couples group that meets on the 4th floor on Thursdays."

"Dr. Warren thank you so much."

"I'm doing my job, Mr. Hamilton. I'll be back to check on your wife." Dr. Warren walked and Alex got a good look at Angie and Peggy and could see in their eyes that they were drained.

"You guys go home, I'll take it from here."

"Are you sure Alex?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It'll be good for Eliza and me to have some alone time."

"I'm going to pick up the little ones from Mom and Dad's. Give them a break for a while." Peggy said

"I have a case coming up. I'll do some work and then we can switch?" Angie looked at Alex and he shook his head

"Guys, I really appreciate your help. I really don't know what I would do if you guys weren't here. But I think Eliza and I need to do this coping alone."

"Okay, just let me know if you need me to watch the kids or not."

"I will, thank again." Alex engulfed Angie in a hug, at first it caught her off but she hugged him back. For a second Angie forget where she was and melted into the hug.

"I love you, Angie."

"Love you too Alex." Angie pulled away from the hug and smiled at her brother in law. The two lingered for a moment just looking at one another. Peggy cleared her throat, breaking the trance they were in. Angie stood there frozen as Peggy hugged and said her byes to Alex.

"Ang? You ready?" Angie nodded her head and the two sisters were on their way.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Don't do that Ang, don't make me say it. You know what I'm talking about."

"It was nothing."

"Does Thomas know how you feel about Alex?"

"Felt, I don't have those feelings anymore Pegs. He doesn't have to know, we're not dating."

"It's okay if you do Ang."

"I don't have feelings for him!"

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" By now Angie and Peggy were standing beside each other's car.

"I'm trying to convince no one and I would appreciate it if you lose that tone of yours."

"I don't have a tone, but I do think you should tell Thomas about your feelings. Maybe that's why you can't stay in a relationship." Angie narrowed her eyes at her little sister.

"What are trying to say, Margarita?"

"I think you know Angelica. I'll call you when I get home." Peggy got in her car and sped off leaving Angie alone in the parking lot. She sighed before she too got into her car and left the parking lot.

* * *

Theo and Phillip were sitting in the exam room of the PatientFirst awaiting their results from the pregnancy. The whole car ride, Phillip noticed that Theodosia kept her eyes on the road. She barely talked to him. Now that they have a moment to themselves he figured this might be a perfect time.

"Theo,"

"Hm?"

"What happened at your parents?"

"Nothing, everything's fine."

"Theo," Phillip singsong he laid his head on her shoulder and started to rub his head in the crook of her neck, knowing she hates it when he does it.

"Phillip! Stop it." Theo giggled Phillip laughed as he sat up.

"Come on babe, talk to me."

"My dad said some things and it hurt my feelings."

"What did he say?" Theo hesitated she didn't know if she should tell him what her dad said. She didn't want to upset him especially since he was still recovering.

"Theo, you can tell me anything I won't get mad."

"He said you were just like your dad, and what he did to your mom…" Theo didn't want to finish the statement and by the look on Phillip's face, she knew that he knew the rest of the statement. Phillip grabbed Theo's hands and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Theodosia Burr, I vowed that I would never hurt the woman I love the way my Dad hurt my Mom. When I saw the hurt, anger, embarrassment on her face when the story broke out, it did something to me. I still see it when my Dad has his daughter on the weekends. I don't want to do that you Theo. I love you and no matter what the test says, I'm not going anywhere." The young lovers shared a sweet kiss then a knock at the door interrupted their moment. The door opened a doctor entered the room.

"Alright, Ms. Burr we have your test results back."

"And?"

"You're pregnant. You're about 8 weeks." Theo stared at the ground and Phillip grabbed her hand.

"We're gonna get through this. I promise." Theo simply nodded her head. Phillip held her hand up and pressed a kiss to it.

"If you have any questions, here's my card. You should start looking for an OB/GYN if you don't already have one. You can pay up at the front."

* * *

Angie entered her brownstone and was met with a trail of rose petals. There were candles lit everywhere, soft jazz music playing, and her favorite flower, calla lily, in beautifully decorated bouquets throughout the brownstone.

A girl would swoon at such lengths to be impressed but Angie was furious. She followed the trail of roses that lead to her balcony. There was Thomas in, of course, a plum suit, waiting for her at a makeshift dinner table for two.

"Do you like my surprise, I figured you needed a break from everything—"

"Why did you do this?"

"What?"

"Why did you do this?" Angie stressed

"I can't do something nice?"

"We're not dating Thomas, this is just something we're doing for fun."

"Oh really? Because I don't see it that way Angelica, I've done this before. What is your problem?"

"Not like this Thomas, you know what I think you should leave."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong!"

"I don't have to tell you shit! We're not a couple Thomas!"

"I see you're working very hard to make that happen." Thomas picked up their plates and brushed past Angelica. She was hot on his tail.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Angie demanded Thomas cleared off the plates into the trash and then put the plates in the sink.

"Thomas!"

"What I mean is, every time I make a step into making this thing or whatever the fuck it is into a something more. You do shit like this!"

"That's not true!"

"Oh, it isn't? We've been doing this for years, Angelica! All the way back to Paris."

"Really Thomas, you're gonna pull the Paris card?"

"Yes, because I don't know what it was, but we were different over there. Then when we came back, all of what we said we wanted to do, stopped. You said you didn't want to label us, so I went along anything to keep you close. But I'm tired of booty calls. I'm too old for that shit, we're too old for that shit. I don't want to just be your friend, I want to be more. If I can't have all of you, then I don't want it."

"Get out Thomas, get the fuck out!" Angie started to shove and punch Thomas.

"Is this what you do Angelica? You sabotage all your relationships?!" Her tears started to blind her vision as her punches became harder. Thomas sighed heavily and he grabbed her wrists to stop her from hitting him.

"I thought you were better than this." Thomas let her wrist and stormed out of her brownstone and slammed the door shut behind him. Angie roughly wiped away her tears. She noticed the bottle of wine sitting on ice and she grabbed that before disappearing into her room.

* * *

I was sitting on the sofa doing some last minute changes for our summer schedule when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and smiled widely when Frances named popped up on the FaceTime. I answered the call and was immediately met with squealing.

_"You knew?!"_  I laughed, the sense of pride radiating from me as my daughter beamed with excitement, is a feeling that I never knew I could feel.

"Show me the ring Frankie, it's beautiful Frankie. I'm so happy for you."

_"Thanks, Dad, we already decided on getting married in New York."_

"Are you sure sweetie? What about your bridesmaids?"

_"They'll be fine, I want all of my friends there, Mom, and Henry."_  I clenched my jaw at the mention of my father's name.

"Why?"

_"Dad, I know you haven't spoken to him in a long—"_

"Since I was sixteen, but it's your wedding Frances."

_"You're mad aren't you?"_

"I'm not mad."

_"You called me Frances."_

"That doesn't mean I'm mad. Tell me how he proposed?"

_"First, he treated me to a spa day, then a limo picked me up from my place and I met him at the ballet. They were performing Sleeping Beauty, my favorite. Then the limo took us to this fancy restaurant. We ate dinner and then after dessert we walked up to the rooftop garden and that's where he proposed."_

"I'm so happy for you honey. I really am, I'm glad you found the love of your life."

_"Me too Dad, well I have to go it's getting late over here."_

"Alright, I'll talk to you later."

_"Bye."_

"Bye Frankie." I was still smiling after I ended the FaceTime, I checked my phone for any missed calls or messages from Alex. I decided to call him and tell him the good news. As soon as the phone rang, I was sent to voicemail. I sighed and sent him a quick text telling him to call me. When I put my phone down, I got a notification, I looked at my phone and read Alex's text.

_Can't talk._

I tried not to let the text hurt my feelings, but after the night we spent together I thought I meant more to him than a two-word text. I guess I'll always be second to Alexander Hamilton.


	10. Five Steps, Part Two

Chapter 10: Five Steps, Part Two

_You have no new messages. You have one message_

" _Hey Angie, it's Alex. I need you to keep an eye on the kids for me. I'll explain later, so give me a call—"_

_Message deleted, you have no messages._

Angie sighed heavily she was hoping that Thomas would've called but it's been almost two weeks and she hasn't heard anything from him. She wanted to call him back and apologize but her pride was stopping her. Angie buried herself in more work and wine to keep her mind off of Thomas. Her work cell started to ring and she answered the phone without hesitation.

"Angelica Schuyler, who's speaking?"

"Hey Schuyler, it's Whitaker, we got our suspect and some DNA samples. I need you to draft a warrant to search his apartment."

"On it, I'll the warrant for you by Monday. Is Hunter representing Jones?"

"Um, no he fired him." Angelica frowned

"Okay, well, who is representing him?"

"Well, see—"

"Spit it out, Whitaker! I don't have all day."

"Jefferson." Angie froze she didn't even realize she dropped the phone until she heard Whitaker's voice. She picked her phone back up and tried to regain her composure.

"Schuyler, you still there?"

"Huh, yeah I am, sorry I dropped my phone."

"Oh okay, we got a witness to testify against him."

"Oh great," Angie responded robotically

"The witness says she saw him around the same time he claims he was at home. So, I think we got this in the bag."

"Alright, um let me call you back Whitaker."

"Okay, bye—" Angelica stared at phone she contemplated on whether she should call Thomas or not. She pressed on her contact name and before she could touch the screen again, his name popped up on her screen. She started his picture for a few seconds before answering the phone.

"Thomas?"

" _Good evening Counselor Schuyler,"_ Angelica winced at the formal tone but continued anyway.

"To what do I owe this call Counselor Jefferson?"

" _My client's DNA is no longer admissible in court,"_

"Like hell! He raped and assaulted a married woman."

" _Based on what proof Counselor?"_

"From what my guys told me, the victim almost committed suicide because your client raped her." Angelica practically yelled

" _That is extremely unfortunate, but that's hardly proof that my client raped the victim."_

"The victim identified him by his privates."

" _Oh, and I guess they just happened to see it when the police escorted him to the bathroom after they forced soda down his throat. My client wasn't even under arrest during that time."_

"It's protocol to escort suspects to the bathroom. You should know that Counselor Jefferson."

" _Is it protocol to inspect their genitals, Counselor Schuyler?"_

"What now? You're going to claim illegal search?"

" _No, I already talked to the judge, he said he's not giving you the order based on police misconduct."_

By the tone of his voice, Angelica could tell his was smirking and that angered her even more.

"Fuck you,  _Counselor Jefferson_." Angelica ended the call and groaned in frustration. She was about to pour herself another glass of wine when her phone rang again. Without the looking at the screen she answered her phone, slightly irritated.

"What?!" Angelica said loudly

" _Ange? It's Peggy."_  Angelica instantly relaxed and sighed heavily

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought-I thought you were someone from work."

"What's wrong is everything okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it. What's up?"

"I just got off the phone with Alex, Eliza wants to see us."

* * *

I sat in my office trying to keep my mind off of Alex, which was proving to be very difficult. I haven't heard from him since the last time he was at my apartment. When I started to feel myself get upset about Alex I would usually call Francis and talk about the wedding. That was probably the only thing that made me smile, hearing her talk about how much she loves Georges and how she can't wait to marry him. I was pulled out of my thoughts when there was a knock at my door.

"Come in?" Stella poked her head in, I could tell she was hiding something by the smile on her face.

"Mr. Laurens, you have some guests."

"Send them in," I said without looking I kept typing furiously on my computer. When the door closed I looked up and froze and couldn't contain the smile on my face.

"Hey, Dad." I got up from my desk and Frances and I met in a hug.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to town?"

"Well, then that would ruin the surprise wouldn't it?" I was so caught up in Frances, that I didn't notice Georges standing behind her.

"Hey Georges, I'm sorry man." We shared a quick hug.

"It's okay, my Mom did the same thing when we surprised her at home."

"So, are you guys visiting for the weekend?" Georges and Frances both shared nervous smiles.

"Well," Frances grabbed Georges "we're moving to Yonkers!" Frances giggled. I smiled widely

"Are you serious? What made you guys decide this?" Frances reached her into her purse and pulled out a picture, I held back my tears as I reached out the grab the sonogram picture.

"Frankie, you're pregnant?"

"I'm six weeks, as soon as we found out, we knew that we didn't want to be an ocean away when we had this baby." I pulled my daughter n for another hug

"I'm so happy for you guys, congratulations."

"Thank so much Dad."

"What do you guys have planned for the rest of the day?"

"Georges is going to spend time with his dad and you and I are going wedding dress shopping."

"Aren't you getting married next year?"

"So? I'm pregnant Dad, I need to find a dress now while I can still try them on."

"Frankie, I have to work—"

"Ah, ah, ah, none of that, I already told Stella to clear your schedule. You are coming with me." I playfully rolled my eyes and I started to shut down my desktop.

"Get ready for this Georges, Frances doesn't take no for an answer."

"Don't listen to him." Frances rolled her eyes

* * *

"What do you think?" Frances was trying on her fifth dress, it was satin sleeveless mermaid dress with an organza train. She and her bridal consultant, Vickie were looking at me with hopeful eyes.

"I like it, you look beautiful Frankie."

"You said that about the last four, I want your honest opinion Dad. This is the dress I get married in, I need it to be perfect."

"It is going to be perfect, let me go get some accessories because I can tell you love this dress Frances, I'll be right back."

When Vickie walked left our private room, my phone rang, Frankie noticed my stoic expression, she glanced at my phone and rolled her eyes.

"Frances," I warned

"I didn't say anything, you can answer it."

"I'll be right back, it'll be quick. I promise." Frances nodded her head, I stepped into the bathroom before I answered the call.

"What's up, Alex."

" _Hey Laurens, I have some great news and I wanted to tell you first, Eliza's doing so much better man, she's communicating more. Her therapist is really helping."_

"Well, that's great Alex, but I really have to go."

" _Wait, wait, what's wrong?"_

"What are we, Alex?"

" _What do you mean?"_

"You know what the fuck I mean Alex, what are we?"

" _We're friends."_

"Bull shit, friends don't do what we did, Alex."

" _Where is this coming from?"_

"I don't hear from you for two weeks and you call me out of the blue?"

" _John—"_

"I'm not done, if you don't want to make whatever this is a thing then I can't be your friend Alex. I can't be that person for you anymore"

" _You don't mean that."_

"But I do Alex, and I wish that I didn't because I'm in love you, but I can't be second place."

" _So, do you expect my leave my wife and kids and run away with you?!"_

"No! I want you to make a decision! What do you want Alexander?" I was met with silence and I knew I got my answer.

"I see, I guess this is where it ends."

" _John, please, don't do this. I can come by your place and we can talk."_

"Goodbye Alexander." I ended the call despite Alex's pleas, I wiped away the stray tears that managed to fall. Once I felt that I was presentable I left the bathroom. When I made it back to the room Frances was when I was not prepared for the sight in front of me. Frances was now wearing a veil, and matching jewelry. She looked like a true bride, the tears that I was holding in just a few moments ago started to fall. Which made Frances cry, even the consultant got teary eyed.

"What do you think Dad?" Frances asked tearfully

"I think you look absolutely radiant Frances." I walked over to my daughter and wiped away the tears.

"Can I get the dress Dad, please? I love it."

"Of course you can." I kissed my daughter's forehead

"Are you saying Yes to this Dress, Frances?"

"I'm saying Yes to the Dress!" Frances said loudly, Frances and I shared a loving hug

"I love you so much Frances, I am so happy for you."

"I love you too Granddad." Frances teased, I pulled away from the hug and nudged her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, how about I treat us to lunch, I know you're hungry."

"Extremely, I'm going to get changed."

* * *

After Frances and I had lunch we hung out for the rest of the day until dinner time. I took her back to the hotel she and Georges were staying in for the time being. I offered them to stay with me, but they graciously declined. When I went back to my place I didn't realize how tired I was and as soon as I laid my head down on the pillow I was out for the night.

_RING RING RING RING_

I blindly reached for my phone from my bed, I answered the phone without glancing at the caller ID and put it on speaker phone.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

" _Mon ami! Have you heard the news? We are going to be grandparents!"_

"Yes Laf, I heard the news. Why are you calling me at," I stretched my neck to look at my clock and let my head hit the pillow again. "2:00 AM on a Saturday. Why are you still up?"

" _I was honestly just trying to have a good time and I feel so attacked right now."_

"Laf!" I groaned I head his boisterous laugh over the phone.

" _I am kidding. I'm genuinely calling just to say that I'm extremely happy for our kids. You've raised a beautiful daughter and my Georges is incredibly lucky to have her for a wife."_

"Thanks, Laf, I really appreciate it, but can we talk about this later on like noon?"

" _But I wanted—"_

I ended the phone call before Laf could finish. I laid my head down to sleep just as I was about to fall asleep there was a knock at my door. I groaned in annoyance as I kicked off my covers my stomped over to the front. I swung the door open and was immediately met with lips smashing against mine. It took me a few minutes to register who it was. I widened my eyes when I noticed it was Alex. Before I could react to the kiss, Alex pulled away breathing heavily, lips swollen, cheeks red.

"Alex, what are you doing here?"

"I want you, John, you asked me what I wanted and I was too afraid to say it, but I want you. I've always wanted you, John. I love you so much." I stared at him for a few minutes before I pulled him by his collar and kissed him with more passion than the first time if that was even possible. He walked me back into my condo and kicked the door shut with his foot.


	11. Five Steps, Part Three

Chapter 11: Five Steps, Part Three

Angelica and Peggy were both standing outside Eliza's room, hesitant to go inside. They didn't know what they were going to see on the other side of this door.

"She's fine," Angelica looked at Peggy, she didn't know if she was trying to convince her little sister or herself. "she wouldn't want to see us if she wasn't, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." The sisters stepped into the room and were surprised to see Eliza in her hospital watching some movie on her iPad.

"Eliza?"

"Hey guys," Eliza said quietly, she turned off her movie and looked at her sisters expectantly "come closer I want to talk to you guys."

"How are you feeling, Eliza?" Peggy asked

"I'm better, not where I want to be, but better. I've been going to my therapist and she's been extremely helpful and Alex has just been so patient with me. You guys," Eliza started to get teary-eyed "you guys, are amazing for taking turns watching the kids. I mean, I know they can be a handful and I hate that they were thrown on you. Just thank you," The Schuyler Sisters shared a loving group hug, Angelica pulled away and wiped away Eliza's tears.

"You know we got you, sis, I would move mountains for you." Eliza nodded her head

"There was something, that I wanted to tell you guys. Alex and I decided that we're having a small memorial service after I get out the hospital, we're going to cremate Rachel, and spread her ashes in my garden." Angelica reached over and grabbed Eliza's hand.

"We stand by whatever decision you and Alex make."

"Where is Alex? I thought he would be here," Peggy asked frowning.

"I forced him to go home last night, the little ones were with George and Martha and I didn't want to be a burden anymore. Besides, I'm actually glad he went home, he's been a little bit of a bother to the nurses."

"A bother? My nurses can barely get any work done when he's here." Angelica and Peggy turned to see who the voice belonged to and saw an older African American woman, with grey and black hair.

"Angie, Pegs, this is my nurse Sandra. She's been amazing to me while I've been here."

"You make it easy Mrs. Hamilton—" There was a knock at the door and a nurse opened the door so only her head poked in.

"Mrs. Hamilton, you have a couple more visitors and one of them is dying to see you." The nurse smirked

"Well, of course, they can come in." The door opened and little Laila, ran into the room while dragging a teddy bear that was almost bigger than her. Eliza giggled as the young girl bounced over to her bed.

"Emmy!" Laila cried as she tried to climb onto the bed, that was a nickname Eliza came up with when Alex started to spend weekends with her. As much as she wanted to, Eliza didn't feel right with Laila addressing as Ms. Eliza, so came up with the name 'Emmy' which stands for Extra Mommy. It took some time, but Eliza loves Laila, it wasn't her fault that she's here.

"Mrs. Hamilton, we'll let you enjoy your company." Nurse Sandra left the room Peggy smirked when she saw Laila struggling to get on the bed, she assisted the girl and Laila wrapped her arms around Eliza and they shared a hug.

"I missed you, Emmy."

"I missed you too Laila Waida," Eliza tickled Laila's neck

"Mommy said that you were hurt really bad and that's why I couldn't come see you."

"I was really hurt, but I feel a lot better now."

"Mommy and I got you some presents." Eliza gasped excitedly

"You mean there's more than just this teddy bear?!"

"Yeah!" Laila turned toward the door "Mommy, can we give Emmy her other gifts." Everyone turned toward the door and for the time noticed that Maria was standing there with a vase of flowers and balloons. She smiled weakly at Angie and Peggy before hesitantly walking over to Eliza's bed.

"Um, Laila really wanted to see you, so when Alex told us that you weren't in ICU anymore, she wanted to come by immediately. She's happy-we're both happy that you're recovering well." Maria sighed

"Thank you, Maria, that's very kind of you."

"You're welcome, well I'm going to be in the cafeteria. Have fun with your visit Bubbles." Maria kissed Laila's forehead before leaving the room.

"Laila are you hungry?" Angie asked

"Yes!"

"I'll go pick up something from the cafeteria for you."

"Say thank you, Laila."

"Thank you!"

"You're so welcome." Angie turned the leave the room but Peggy grabbed her before she could leave.

"Be nice Ange."

"What are you talking about?" Peggy stepped closer so Eliza or Laila could hear her.

"I saw the wheels turning in your head when Maria walked in this room. Don't say anything, this moment is about Eliza, not Alex's mistakes."

"I know how to act in public, Margarita." Angie continued to walk out of the room, she caught up with Maria at the elevators, Maria rolled her eyes when Angie approached her.

"Hello Angelica," Maria shifted her weight uncomfortably as she looked at the basic hospital wall art.

"Hello Maria," Maria impatiently tapped her foot as she pressed the button again, for whatever reason the elevator decided to take its sweet time today.

"In a hurry?" Angelica asked that patronizingly sweet voice she used when in court. Maria bit her lip in frustration

"No, just really hungry."

"Hmm," The elevator finally came and the two women stepped into the elevator. Maria pressed the button for the lower level and the lobby level for Angelica.

"Oh, I'm going to the same floor." Maria inwardly groaned but smiled weakly

"Oh, my mistake." They stood in silence as the elevator slowly moved. The only thing that could be heard was the elevator music playing softly. Maria avoided looking at Angie but instead the silver walls of the elevator.

"You have some nerve you know that?"

"Excuse me?" Maria raised her eyebrow.

"I mean it's pretty pathetic and rude that you of all people would come to see Eliza." Maria scoffed and shook her head

"My daughter wanted to see her, you act like Eliza and Laila don't have a relationship, Laila loves her and Eliza loves her back and as a mother, I couldn't be more grateful that Eliza accepted her when she didn't have to. She could've pretended that my daughter doesn't even exist and you know what I wouldn't even be mad at her, but she didn't. I'm not visiting anybody, I'm not disrespecting anyone, I'm waiting patiently until my child wants to go home. What makes it worse is that all of this is coming from the same woman who doesn't have any children and is blatantly in love with her younger sister's husband." Angelica went wide-eyed and pale, for once she was actually speechless, the silver-tongued lawyer had nothing to say in return and Maria smirked.

"To answer your question, yes, it is that obvious." The elevator doors opened when they reached the lobby level.

"Tell my daughter, I left to get some food and when I come back we'll be leaving." With that Maria stormed out of the elevator.

* * *

The sunlight shining through my window woke me up, I shielded my eyes as I tried to get out of bed but a pair of arms pulled me back. I turned over and smiled when I saw Alex already awake.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes, I was watching you sleep?"

"Creep," We shared a quick kiss before I rolled out of the bed. "are you hungry?"

"No, not really." I pulled on some boxers and when I turned back around Alex was lovingly staring at me, I smiled widely, I've never felt so happy in my entire life. I leaned over to kiss him when my phone went off. I reached over to grab it when Alex grabbed my hand.

"Ignore it." He whispered as we met in a kiss. He pulled me back into bed with him as he slid off my boxers.

"Did he answer?" the front lobby attendant asked Frances. She shook her head in return

"No, I can call him again."

"No, ma'am, it's alright, I mean you're his daughter, he has you listed as one of the people who can have a key." The attendant handed over Laurens' house key to Frances.

"Maybe you should call him before we go up, babe," Georges suggested Frances, shrugged her shoulders.

"He knows we're coming, he's probably not by his phone. Now come on, my feet hurt." Frances and Georges took the elevator to Laurens' floor. While in the elevator Frances called her Dad one more time and it went to voicemail after a few rings.

"He didn't answer again?" Frances shook her head

"Nope, he usually answers when I call him. If he doesn't he calls right back."

"What if he's sleep?"

"No, my Dad never sleeps in." When they reached the floor, Frances briskly walked out of the elevator and headed straight to her Dad's front door. She knocked on the door a few times and waited for a response. She ringed the doorbell and still nothing.

"Should I use my key?" Georges shrugged his shoulders

"I mean you knocked and ringed the bell." Frances nodded her head and used the key to open the door.

"Dad? It's me and Georges!" Frances looked around and frowned when saw a shirt lying on the floor.

"Dad?!"

"Frances!" I said out of breath as I jogged down my steps. My daughter examined my face before hugging me.

"Why are you out of breath?"

"Um, I went to the gym and I just came back not too long ago."

"But, I would've seen you we were in the lobby for a while."

"I meant the gym here, there's one on the lower level, I took the stairs."

"Oh okay," I could tell Frances wasn't convinced and I turned my attention to Georges and greeted him.

"How you doing Georges?"

"I'm fine Mr. Laurens."

"We're going to be family soon, you can call me Dad or John."

"Oh, okay John."

"Um, Dad, whose shirt is that by the door?"

"Hm?"

"The shirt, by the door?" Frances pressed, I looked at what she pointing at and my eyed went wide I rushed over to pick it up,

"Um, it's mine, I must've dropped it when I was doing laundry."

"Wait, I thought you said you were at the gym." I shook my head at my own stupidity, I was always bad at lying

"Oh, did I say that? Frankie, I meant I did laundry first and then I went to the gym." Frances wasn't satisfied with my answer she was about to press me for more. When Alex came down wearing my sweatpants and a t-shirt

"Mr. Hamilton?" Frances frowned "What are you doing here?"

"I worked out with your Dad." Frances looked between the two of us and rolled eyes

"Do you two think I'm stupid?" I looked at my daughter like I was a teenager caught sneaking in after curfew.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Frankie."

"Don't 'Frankie' me, I can see the hickey on your neck Dad. I know you're fucking him."

"Hey! Watch your language, Frances!" Frances let out a breath

"You want me to watch my mouth but your fucking a married man whose wife is in the hospital. Wow, isn't this crazy Georges?" Georges shifted his weight uncomfortably

"Maybe we should go babe, give them some alone time."

"Georges, I love you baby, but I need you to shut up right now." I sighed heavily and decided to try and save Georges from hearing this conversation.

"Frances, let's talk about this in private."

"No, I think you've had one too many conversations in private."

"That is enough! I'm still your father and you will show me some respect!"

"Respect? You're having an affair with your friend's husband, aren't you his son's godfather? What sense does that make?" I grabbed my daughter's hand and pulled her into the living room, even though it wasn't completely closed off I didn't want to make Georges feel any more uncomfortable than he already is.

"Frances, this is complicated, we love each other." Frances rolled her eyes in annoyance

"What did he promise you to agree to this Dad, did he say anything about leaving his wife, starting a life with you? What about his kids, don't you think they're going to look at you differently if they find out? What about Mrs. Hamilton? She's in the hospital for God's sake and you're here fucking her husband!"

"It's not like that Frances, it's more than that he loves me."

"I'm pretty sure he only said so he could get his dick wet."

"Frances!" I thought she would stop but she kept going

"Look, Dad, I don't care about how you identify you know that. But what I do care about is you getting into some bullshit like having an affair with the God damn Secretary Treasury." We both stared at each other, neither one of us wanting to back down

"Is this why she left?" I looked at Frances with confusion, I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Excuse me?"

"Mom left because you were in love with him, not because you were gay!"

"You don't know shit about what happened between me and your mom! I can't believe you would even say that!"

"Let me ask you one question, without a doubt can you tell me that he will leave his wife and marry you?" When I hesitated, Frances nodded her head

"That's the only answer I need." Frances stormed off and I followed her, trying to reason with her

"Frankie, you don't have to leave. Let's talk about it, all of us." I pleaded, Frances ignored me and turned to her fiancé.

"Georges, we're leaving."

"Frances, listen to your Dad, let him explain," Alex said to Frances who gave him the deadliest start in return.

"You're not my father so I don't know why the fuck you felt the need to say shit to me. Georges, let's go now."

"Babe, maybe you should hear them out—"

"I don't want to hear them out, I'm ready to go!" Frances stared him down and Georges gave me an apologetic look before following Frances our of my loft. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I looked at Alex, I must've been crying because the next thing I know, Alex had pulled me in for a hug. I shoved him off of me, wanting to be alone.

"John?"

"Alex, I just need some space right now."

"Do you want me to do anything—"

"Alex!" I shouted, which must've surprised him, I instantly felt bad

"I just, need some time to think about, everything, not just us." Alex nodded his head

"I'll get us some lunch." I nodded my head in return and went upstairs to be by myself. I tried called Frances, but after one ring I was sent to voicemail. I never thought that I would in this situation with my daughter. I hated my father and I vowed that I would never make my child feel that way toward me. I know Frances could never hate me, but she's not far from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm back finally! I know I have been MIA but I'm back guys, I've terrible writer's block and I have about three different versions of this chapter, I wasn't sure which direction I wanted to go in. but I'm Good now. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, R&R!


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